Saturday, June 3, 2017

3 months 24 days - So many changes

First, I am sad that I haven't been keeping track of things here. I can't believe how quickly a baby grows and changes. People say to treasure the moments but before you know it, your sleepy delicate little newborn is much more of a baby and somehow got twice as big before you noticed!

MJ and I are doing great. Maternity leave is awesome. I mean really awesome. I love that my only responsibility is to take care of her. We have three more months of this and then I'll be going back to work when she is just about 7 months. To the Europeans among the readers this will seem early and to the Americans it will seem extravagant. I"m lucky to have both perspectives- so I can feel lucky to have this amazing amount of time with my daughter. But I also have the other perspective and I am not looking forward to handing her over to daycare and getting back to work.

On the upside, I have been offered a place at one of the University nurseries which is great. It's subsidized, so there's that, but it's actually just an awesome nursery with an 'outstanding' Ofsted rating. I went to visit it and I was actually looking forward to MJ being old enough that I could bring her for real. So that's good.

It's really hard for me to understand that I am a mother and what that means. Right now I just sort of exist, happily, day to day. I don't know that I can identify the ways in which I feel any different. Instead, it's been a rather seamless transition from not being a mother, to being one. I suppose these are matters for the future. I don't have to think about it much right now, because I exist in this pleasant limbo of time off of my 'real' life. I suspect things will change when I try to balance work with motherhood, but right now I don't have to worry about it.

Okay. I'll try to delve into topics of specific interest in the future, but just thought I'd update. Out of curiosity, and if any reader has an opinion, this bog was titled 'attempting' single motherhood before I knew it was going to happen. Should I start a new blog about being a mother or is that silly?