Monday, October 22, 2018

1y8m : My family is complete

On one of the threads on the SMC Forum there was a great comment from someone about their family being 'intact'.  Meaning, I may be a single parent, but I am not missing anything. My daughter is not missing anything. We were formed completely as a unit of two. It is what is always has been and it is complete.  Many people, when hearing 'single parent', assume that there is something missing, lost, or broken.  When you are a single parent by choice, this is not the case.

I think this goes hand in hand with the people who say to me things like, 'Oooh, but you're doing this on your own.... it's so much harder for you....' etc. etc.  This is a false economy statement because there is no 'harder than' in my world.  My life takes the right amount of effort for the choices I've made. I was not stranded or abandoned or left holding threads that I expected or relied on anyone else to hold for me.  My life looks different to a coupled parent, the way I think is probably different to a coupled parent, and I do make different decisions than a coupled parent (sometimes, and particularly about my social life in the evenings I imagine).  But it's not harder for me, it's just different.

I like this idea of completeness, or intact-ness as a way to describe my family. We aren't missing anything at all, we are whole and complete as we are.  And it goes without saying of course, but it's great!