Thursday, February 22, 2018

1y0m12d : Nursery germs are real

Oh my god. Why so many germs? How can we have so many colds? It's relentless! One after the other after the other. I know it could be worse- that MJ could have had ear infections or chest infections or things that require greater intervention. Mostly she just pours snot out of her nose and occasionally squeezes some out of her eyes if it's particularly bad.

But why do I have to get all the colds as well? I'm a socialized human adult who has interacted with any number of germs in my lifetime. It seems tremendously unfair. I am currently suffering from one of the worse colds so far in that my sinuses are completely stuffed up.  Because I'm still breast feeding, you aren't really supposed to take decongestants.  Although I've been told this is because it can dry up milk, and I'm not actually so worried about that at this point.

But honestly. It's just dreadful.  I'm trying to be thankful for the small things- like, how glad I am that when I leave work it's still daylight, and when I leave nursery, it's not pitch black. These things make me happy.

But so does breathing.  Spring and warm weather really can't come soon enough as far as I'm concerned!!

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

T minus 4 Days Until First Birthday

Can you believe it? I certainly can't. Where does the time go??!!

I am in some ways incredibly sad that I have been unable to keep up with this blog to document MJ's first year of life. It's been an incredible whirlwind. So much has happened. Now it all seems like a beautiful blur.

I do say that overall I find I handle motherhood and life well, but the reality is that something has got to give. For me it's been my home (which is a tip), and things like this blog- things that used to fill my personal time. Also in this category are knitting, reading, cooking, tidying, and shopping.

I wouldn't change it for anything.

So what can I say that could in any way cover the gap from my last post? MJ will officially be a toddler on Saturday, although she is not yet toddling. She does want to stand up all the time. She's getting much better at pulling herself up to it, and has take a few tentative shuffles but is not yet confidently cruising.

I'm back at work full-time which also means my personal time is limited. Although I'm writing this at work, so what does that tell you?  The adjustment wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it might be. MJ was 7 months old when I returned to work half time for one month and 8 months old when I returned to work full time.  I think it was a very good time for this to happen as she was becoming an inquisitive, busy and active baby as opposed to a snuggly stay put newborn. So nursery was a great environment for her to explore new people, new toys, new things. I could not be happier with our nursery arrangement.

As an interesting side note, one thing I'm very thankful for is that in MJ's nursery class of 14 in total, there are 2 children (including MJ) with only a mom (and a donor) and 1 child with two moms. How cool is that? That means all of these children will grow up thinking that alternate families are just normal, and no child is isolated in that way.

And work is very stimulating and accommodating. I loved maternity leave. But I also love my job. I love that I am proud of what I do and feel I will be a good role model for my daughter.  I also love that for the most part, my job has a very good work life balance, which my previous career path did not. It feels like many things have fallen into place, and I'm happy to just focus on being a mother and doing my job. Things are set up to allow me to just... thrive in the environment I've created. I think that's just a fantastic gift that I've given myself. The space to just be and experience the life I've shaped.  I never want to take that for granted.

So maybe I should just post this now, so there is some sort of update. Work is busy, but maybe I can have this as a little procrastination thing, and update a little more often.