Wednesday, June 8, 2016

IVF 1 - Day 31 8dp6dt 4w3d

This morning, my cheap Ebay test strip had a faint squinter line visible on it.  The First Response test was again positive.  Looks like hCG levels must be rising, and so far I'm positive.  At 4 weeks 3 days it's still very early.  It's 14 days past ovulation.  There's a lot that can go wrong in the next few weeks.

I can't believe it yet.  I don't feel anything at all to indicate there is something growing inside of me. Last night and this morning I had a bit of spotting and last night I felt crampy.  I don't know if that was from the excitement, the spotting, or actual cramps.  But this morning still positive tests, and no cramping, so okay.

I went for the private blood test I paid for this morning and it took her two tries to get it out of me.  I have no idea when I'll get the results or what the results will actually be.  Having already paid for this test and taken it, it could very well be a 'yes you are pregnant' or 'no you are not pregnant' sort of test with no actual beta hCG numbers provided.  I am beyond frustrated with my inability to get beta hCG blood tests here the way everyone else seems to have as standard as part of fertility treatments.  If I was in London, this would be very easy as I see a lot of the fertility clinics offer it.  I've already written to my clinic here in Cambridge suggesting they make it an optional add-on (or just make it standard).  I never heard anything back from my GP who I contacted and offered to pay for it myself.

However, a positive test is a positive test.  So right at this moment, I am pregnant, although we have a long way to go before there is a baby.

Holy shit.

I've told most people who know that I'm trying about the early result.  I'm not a superstitious kind of person.  In fact I'm against most of the 'secrecy' and 'careful' aspects of early pregnancy.  First of all, if I get upset because I miscarry, I want to be able to talk to people who know me and care about me. Secondly, we need to stop freaking women out that they can control miscarriage and it's their fault if they exercise wrong or bend over funny or whatever it is.  The uterus is incredibly good at guarding it's contents.  Think about how hard it is to get rid of a baby that you don't want!  And yet we freak out women that if they sneeze funny, they could damage or lose the fetus.  So I'm going to tell people what's going on with me and continue to go to yoga and ride my bike to work, and what have you. And I will talk to people about things if they go wrong.  And I'm sure I'll put stuff here as well.

4 comments:

  1. Congratulations! I have been following your blog since you were doing the egg freezing. I know that you don't get a lot of people commenting but I wanted to let you know that I have been quietly cheering you on and check your blog daily. Good for you for having the courage to follow your dreams. I am currently in the process of freezing my eggs so find your whole journey very interesting. Congratulations again and whatever the outcome good luck and keep posting! C :)

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    1. Thank you so much!!! :)
      It's great to hear from people, especially as I don't get many comments. I hope you have found the blogs helpful in some way on your own journey.
      Wishing you all the best with your egg freezing!!!

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    2. This blog has given me hope. I have my beta on Thursday but tested on 5dp5dt and was seriously devastated. I stopped tested after that and resigned to wait until beta. Looks like you finally got your positive result on day 7!

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    3. Trying to conceive can be a long and emotional journey. I was an early tester, but I also now realize that the test I was using wasn't that sensitive and was never going to give me a positive early result. My first positive was 7 days past a 6 day transfer, so depending on your terminology, technically 13 days past ovulation. I hope you have success this cycle, but if you don't, that you continue to hold on to your hope!! Best of luck to you!!

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