Sunday, March 13, 2016

One Cycle Ends, Another Begins

So I took the clinic pregnancy test on Friday and it was negative.  Additionally, my period basically started on the Thursday night, so cycle one was unsuccessful.  On the plus side, with my period not starting until Friday really, this was perfect timing to start the new cycle. 

I called my clinic on Friday morning because they ask you to report the result of the pregnancy test, plus, I wanted to immediately get going on IUI 2.  This would require me to order the drugs so they are ready for me on Monday.  Unfortunately, no one answered the phone at my clinic and I was forced to leave a message detailing the result of the pregnancy test, and my intentions to start cycle 2.  By 3pm, no one had called me back and I was about to go into a 2-hour meeting which meant I couldn't get in touch with them until Monday.  So with 5 minutes to my meeting I managed to get through and schedule a scan for Monday morning.  However, there wasn't enough time to get the drug order sorted.  The nurse indicated I would be able to buy the Gonal-F at the clinic on Monday.  I really hope this is the case and it's not somehow more expensive for the inconvenience.  Because it's not my fault they were too busy to get to their phone messages.

In the meantime, I've recently read It Starts with the Egg which was recommended on some of the forums I'm now frequenting.  It was an interesting read and has made me think about making a few changes to my current routine.  I was already taking conception vitamins but I think I'm going to add some CoQ10 to my routine.  I'm also looking at replacing some of the plastic food storage containers I use with glass to help reduce my exposure to BPA.  I figure that these are things I can do relatively easily, and that are not going to hurt me.  Similar to acupuncture.  There is a lot of discussion online about DHEA and in this instance I would not start taking it without my clinic's approval and probably some testing.

So how am I feeling with one failed cycle?  Disappointed of course.  Although I started to address that as my negative pregnancy tests kept coming in so that the final one wasn't such a shock.  Maybe a little bit panicked based on how much money I have and how long I feel I can realistically give this a try.  I found myself thinking I should go straight to the frozen eggs and stop fucking around.  I'm pretty sure this was a direct response to feeling like it's just not going to work with my current 'old' eggs due to this cycle not working.  But those eggs are not going anywhere and my current eggs could work.  I think I need to try one more IUI as planned, and then one fresh IVF and then see how all that goes.  If the clinic suggests going to the frozen at that point, then fine.  But it won't be a knee-jerk reaction to things not going as desired.

It's entirely possible that this is going to be an expensive year that doesn't result in a baby at all.  But it's far too early in the process to be thinking that way.  One failed IUI which only had a 6% success rate is not the thing to be basing the entire journey on.  And hey, based on my very poor understanding of how to add odds, by doing two IUI, each at a 6% success rate, the chance of one of them working is 12%, so that's a bit more hopeful for the second one, huh?

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