I've been looking into scheduling a NIPT locally. I found a local clinic that offers both the Harmony and Serenity tests. It's very difficult to get information on which test is better or why. There are a number of other tests available, but these are the two I can do here, so that's better than a trip down to London. Earlier this year, and following a massive research trial, the NHS decided NIPTs were a good idea to offer to pregnant women. Unfortunately it's just still not clear that it's been rolled out or that I can get one this way. I will see my midwife before 10 weeks, which is the earliest I could do a NIPT, so I will make absolutely sure I can't get it for free before paying for it. But I will pay for it, if I have to. I feel reasonably confident that I would not continue a pregnancy with a known birth defect or serious chromosomal issue. I realize this is a contentious issue, and it's one I hope I do not have to face. I am thankful however, that such tests exist.
In other news I continue to mull over my network/village and how various members have taken my news. On the whole, my network is incredibly supportive and wonderful. I feel very much accepted and supported by those around me (and around me in spirit but living far away!), and that's a wonderful thing. But there are a couple of close nodes in the network which are not as stable. The boyfriend and I have yet to talk about the pregnancy in any sort of detail. In that, he does not ask me any questions. I tell him everything that is happening, and I make comments about the pregnancy, but he doesn't initiate conversations. Of course I take this as his lack of comfort with the idea, which has been an issue throughout the process. This may not be correct, and it could be that he feels rejected and so doesn't know what to ask or say as without my inviting him to participate more, he may feel I don't want him to participate more. At any rate, this is something he and I will have to talk about sooner over later. The other issue is my 'best friend' who has stopped talking to me since my positive result. She has been suffering her own fertility issues, and is seriously depressed. And while I understand to some extent that she finds my news too difficult to deal with, she is also married, wealthy, and already has 2 beautiful children from her horrible multi-year struggles with fertility treatments. So it's also hard for me to be completely understanding, as to me, she has many things that I would have liked to have had, and is lucky in many ways, despite her struggles. We live in different countries which makes the distance a bit easier to navigate, but also to perpetuate. I wonder if I will hear from her again though, and I note with sadness that the longer the time for her to get back in touch, the more hurt, not less, I manage to feel about it.
In other unrelated news, I know pregnancy is counted in trimesters, but it's strange to think that as soon as I am 10 weeks, which is really not far away all things considered, I am 25% through my pregnancy. That's insane! I know that as I've gotten older, time goes by faster and faster. But it's crazy to think I can be almost 25% through something that I don't even barely feel yet and that very soon in the grand scheme of things, I will hopefully be a mother!! I know there is a long way (in some ways) to go between now and then, but in other ways, it's really no time at all.
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