48 dpo 9w2d - First midwife appointment

I've had my first midwife appointment which was fine.  It took some time, as there seemed to be a lot of information to enter into the system.  I would say the meeting was mostly procedural.  There wasn't necessarily any new information from this meeting. She went over with me what vitamins I should be taking, what I should and shouldn't be eating, that I should be exercising but not adding new hardcore routines. I brought along a printout of the donor profile so I could answer any questions about 'the other side' which was useful. We touched briefly on where I might want to give birth, and who might be in the room with me. I don't know yet enough about my pregnancy to make any decisions about where to give birth, although I know I really don't want to do it at home. I think I will be too high risk for that anyway, but it otherwise it really doesn't interest me. The birth center is literally attached to the delivery hospital (same building) so you can always start off in the birth center and be quickly transferred if needed, which seems reasonable. But I'll find out more about how it works later in the pregnancy. We also discussed my relationship with the boyfriend and she agreed that a doula is probably a good idea for me, even if the boyfriend decides he wants to be involved. So that was good to talk about albeit briefly.

Part of the meeting was clearly to assess risk factors.  Because of my age (almost 42) and my weight (BMI 34.5) and my history of an abdominal surgery (ovary removal) this puts me at various risks for various things. So one of the things she set me up with was a meeting with an obstetrician.  I guess in the UK you don't meet with an obstetrician regularly unless you are high risk. So I'll go to be assessed and either they'll continue to want to see me or they'll release me back to my midwife team/GP. I may also have an extra scan due to my age. I'm also at a higher risk for pre-eclampsia so I'll need to start taking a daily baby aspirin at 12 weeks.

But basically that was all fine.  The next steps are that I scheduled a blood test for Thursday and I need to also provide a urine sample (in the smallest urine pot known to man I might add). I am now expecting 3 letters: a welcome from the midwife detailing our discussion and baby aspirin stuff; an appointment letter for my 12 week scan at the hospital which includes a permission form for the Nuchal screening; and, an appointment letter for a meeting with the obstetrician.  I've also confirmed that they don't do NIPT yet, so I'm going to schedule that next week. The midwife told me about another Cambridge based private clinic that offers it, but it's cheaper at the one I found already, so I think I'll stick to that. I think I'll also go for the Serenity Plus test over the Harmony. I don't think it makes very much difference at all, except I think I'll get the Serenity results quicker.

Oh, and I also asked about the Cyclogest/progesterone because I'm down to just a few days left. The midwife said I needed to call the IVF clinic to ask how long I should be on it, so I called them when I got back and had a very nice chat with one of the nurses who was there throughout my procedures. She said they normally would end around 7 weeks, and they're happy for it to stop at 9 weeks. She said it's up to me if I stop cold turkey or reduce then taper but it shouldn't make any difference at this point. So I think I will do a full dose tomorrow which is officially 9 weeks if you follow the retrieval/fertilization date. Then I will drop to one a day until I run out and I might every other day the last one or two. So that's one bit of good news that I don't have to be sticking things up my bottom twice a day very soon!

In other news, another woman on the forum in my group has miscarried which is just awful. I was hoping that we would not be the standard statistic as a group and yet we have reached it. And there could still yet be more. It's so heartbreaking. I try to stick to my mantra but am well aware there are still some big hurdles to get past. The NIPT and the 12 week scan being the big ones. I know that there is nothing I can do. What is going to happen is going to happen. The not knowing can be just so hard though.

IVF 1 - Day 31 8dp6dt 4w3d

This morning, my cheap Ebay test strip had a faint squinter line visible on it.  The First Response test was again positive.  Looks like hCG levels must be rising, and so far I'm positive.  At 4 weeks 3 days it's still very early.  It's 14 days past ovulation.  There's a lot that can go wrong in the next few weeks.

I can't believe it yet.  I don't feel anything at all to indicate there is something growing inside of me. Last night and this morning I had a bit of spotting and last night I felt crampy.  I don't know if that was from the excitement, the spotting, or actual cramps.  But this morning still positive tests, and no cramping, so okay.

I went for the private blood test I paid for this morning and it took her two tries to get it out of me.  I have no idea when I'll get the results or what the results will actually be.  Having already paid for this test and taken it, it could very well be a 'yes you are pregnant' or 'no you are not pregnant' sort of test with no actual beta hCG numbers provided.  I am beyond frustrated with my inability to get beta hCG blood tests here the way everyone else seems to have as standard as part of fertility treatments.  If I was in London, this would be very easy as I see a lot of the fertility clinics offer it.  I've already written to my clinic here in Cambridge suggesting they make it an optional add-on (or just make it standard).  I never heard anything back from my GP who I contacted and offered to pay for it myself.

However, a positive test is a positive test.  So right at this moment, I am pregnant, although we have a long way to go before there is a baby.

Holy shit.

I've told most people who know that I'm trying about the early result.  I'm not a superstitious kind of person.  In fact I'm against most of the 'secrecy' and 'careful' aspects of early pregnancy.  First of all, if I get upset because I miscarry, I want to be able to talk to people who know me and care about me. Secondly, we need to stop freaking women out that they can control miscarriage and it's their fault if they exercise wrong or bend over funny or whatever it is.  The uterus is incredibly good at guarding it's contents.  Think about how hard it is to get rid of a baby that you don't want!  And yet we freak out women that if they sneeze funny, they could damage or lose the fetus.  So I'm going to tell people what's going on with me and continue to go to yoga and ride my bike to work, and what have you. And I will talk to people about things if they go wrong.  And I'm sure I'll put stuff here as well.

Change of Plans Again, AH!

Good grief!! I just got called by the clinic to tell me that in June they do a major clean of the lab and facilities and shut down. this means I can't cycle in June.  However, my frozen eggs are now in Cambridge, my drugs are being delivered today, and, most importantly, my period has yet to arrive.  This means I could start this month, like in the next couple of days.  Holy crap!  Just when I was settling in to having a month off, it's all systems go!

This is great, except for one small thing that I have a serious work conflict on the 26/27 of this month.  If I go by my egg collection cycles, my eggs were retrieved on day 16 or 17.  If you add 5 or 6 days for blastocyst transfer, this is squarely around the time of the work conflict, but could just miss it.  That's going to be the only stressful thing.  I suppose the best thing would be for my period to hold off for another couple or few days to put me well past it?  Anyway, it's going to be tricky, but I'm definitely not waiting until July.

I'm actually really excited about starting straight away although I was also fine with waiting a month.  No more alcohol or caffeine for me though!  I suppose it's not great that I've been indulging this month, although not so much, so that's not so terrible.

I'm actually sort of just really excited to be trying this month.  I'm going to try not to stress about the scheduling conflict until my period arrives.  Speaking of which, maybe I need to go to the bathroom.

More moving eggs

I've just gotten off the phone with the amazingly lovely head embryologist at my clinic.  While I type this post I am also refreshing my email inbox because of course I have more forms I need to fill in. However, he was very helpful about moving forward with arranging the courier to transfer my eggs. As it also happens, he knows the embryologist at the London clinic I used very well, so that's also good, or at least, makes me feel better- for no good reason whatsoever.

Apparently the receiving clinic does arrange the transportation.  So they'll do that, and then I'll just call up and pay.  Then hopefully all being well, my frozen eggs will arrive in Cambridge by the end of next week. That is then on time for me to start my IVF cycle with my next period which is due around May 5.

While chatting to the embryologist I have also learned:

• eggs are defrosted rapidly;
• so if none defrost, there may be time to defrost more; and,
• that for fertilizing both the fresh and frozen eggs at the same time they can use the same vial of sperm even though they have to be done through different methods.

So that was useful.  It was also useful to hear that because I am undergoing treatment, my first year of storage for all things needing storage is covered. It's only after the first year when I may start to have storage fees.  So that was good.  I was thinking I was going to need to cough up some more money to store things in Cambridge.

So the next thing to get on top of is the drug order and delivery.  I have a day in lieu that I need to take for work so ideally I can arrange that for the same day as the drug delivery and just be home to stick everything in the freezer.  As I'll be on 300 Gonal F a day for a while, that's going to be a lot of pens.  Instead of Cetrotide which I took during egg freezing, I'll be on something else (I'll have to look up the name at home) which you inject in the morning.  So Gonal F at 8pm every night and this other drug at 8am every morning starting on day 6 I think.  I also can't remember what she said the trigger was going to be.  But it's also something different because apparently the UK is having a Pregnyl shortage.

I keep refreshing my email but there's nothing there......

By the way, I've had very few comments on this blog, which is fine of course because the blog is a dumping ground for me more than anything else.  But I'd be happy to connect with other people, particularly if you're going through the same, have been through the same thing, or are thinking about it.  I'm on the SMC forum, or you can message me here public or private.

**UPDATED**
Of course there was something wrong with their system and my email address so the embryologist has just called (an hour later) to tell me and I've had to provide a different email.  Luckily, that came through so we should be moving along with the paperwork now!!

Moving Eggs

Following from yesterday's decision I got on the phone straight away this morning with my previous London clinic to see about moving my eggs. I had to leave a message but they called me back within an hour and I explained what I needed.  The clinic manager was able to email me through the consent forms for the transfer and also my credit note for the refunded storage fee (I paid for 10 years up front).  Of course they are also charging for their time in handling the transfer so that was slightly reduced.  But it works out to around £500 refunded, so that's good!  Of course it will probably go straight to storage at the Cambridge clinic, but whatever.

So now it's all about arranging the courier to move the eggs from London to Cambridge.  The London clinic said that usually if a transfer is being done within the UK, the receiving clinic arranges the courier.  So far this morning I've copied in the Cambridge clinic to all correspondence but I haven't had a response yet.  In this instance, the London clinic is winning in terms of quick turn around and responses, but hopefully the Cambridge clinic will check their email at some point today and it will move.

My only fear is that this doesn't happen efficiently and there is a hold up.  But that really shouldn't happen.  If the Cambridge clinic doesn't respond to email today, I will be on the phone with them first thing tomorrow.

In other updates I've also made a counselling appointment to discuss my use of a donor, although not for 3 weeks  yet.  Hoop jumping progress.

IUI 2 - Day 11 scan 3 and procedure scheduled

This morning I had my third scan. It looks like I have two follicles growing and a third a bit behind. So apparently I'm responding well to treatment this month. The largest of the two main follicles was 16mm (the other was 15mm and the third was 11mm) and they usually want it at 18mm to trigger. So I'm going to trigger tomorrow with my procedure sometime on Wednesday. I say 'sometime' because the clinic has been unable to give me a precise time for it which is only a little bit problematic with work scheduling, etc. Tomorrow would have actually been much easier in some ways. Anyway, we'll see. I'm a tiny bit frustrated with my clinic because they seem to be overstretched sometimes. I think this is probably because it is also the NHS clinic for the Cambridge area. In fact, it's pretty much the only fertility clinic in the city. This isn't terrible because on a whole, I think it's an excellent clinic with good results and friendly staff. However, there's clearly some sort of issue with having enough staff or the scheduling that it ends up being stressful. Of course this process is stressful enough without wondering when your next appointment is going to be, or if they're going to forget that you are supposed to have an appointment! I'm sure this wouldn't happened, and so far hasn't happened, but like I said it adds a level of extra stress during what is already a stressful time. On the plus side, the clinic is relatively easy to get to. Cambridge is a pretty small place. The clinic is what- about 1.5-2 miles from here? And it's literally straight down the same road I work on, so pretty convenient by bicycle or by taxi. I haven't even looked at buses yet because I generally hate dealing with the buses in Cambridge, but I bet there's one that goes that way as well. Anyway. One more Gonal F tonight and then Pregnyl some time tomorrow. Interestingly when I was talking to the nurse who did my scan this morning, she was saying that for IUI the timing is less important than for IVF which makes sense. So I feel less stressed about the timing issue given that it's IUI. On the other hand, if this cycle doesn't work and I move on to IVF, this scheduling malarkey really can't continue like this or I'll be extra stressed!

First post

So I thought I'd make a new blog for this new venture.  For anyone new to this blog, you can read about my journey with egg freezing here.  I'm glad that blog has been, and continues to be a resource for women on their personal fertility journeys.

But lots of different things can happen after you freeze your eggs. You may decide not to have a child.  You may meet someone and find out you are pregnant naturally. You may meet someone and decide to use your frozen eggs to try to have a child with them.  Or, like me, you can begin the process of trying to become a mother on your own which may involve using those frozen eggs, or not.

When I started my egg-freezing journey, I of course had already started to think about the possibility of single motherhood.  When I spoke to the counselor she had suggested I move my planning forward, and yet here I am, just over 2 years after I froze my eggs and pretty much on the schedule I anticipated.

I haven't met a partner I want to have a child with, although I will mention that I do have a partner who I see regularly.  Our relationship is great, but at the moment, it's not the sort of one where you make a child together and tie yourself to each other for the rest of your lives.  He knows about my plans.  I'm sure I'll mention him again as this continues, particularly if I'm successful!

So, what's happened so far.

About two to three months ago I met with my new GP (I've moved out of London) to start the process of trying to get pregnant.  In Cambridge where I live now, there are limited options for clinics.  Due to the frequent nature of tests and scans, it is not feasible for me to continue with my London clinic.  So in Cambridge, there is basically one centrally located clinic which is also the NHS clinic.  You can either go through the NHS, or private.  I'm going privately but I also had to be referred by my GP.

So I met with my GP and she was very nice.  She scheduled me for a progesterone test and did a swab test.  Then I had to wait for my period to start so I could get the progesterone test 21 days after it.  I went on day 21 and my progesterone result was 18.  That was low, but my period didn't start.  So I spoke to the GP and he had me come in on day 28 when my progesterone was up to 34.2 (which suggests I've ovulated which was good!) and my period finally came on day 33.  In the meantime I followed up with the clinic and scheduled my first appointment for last Tuesday.  I had the initial consultation with one of the three doctors and she did an ultrasound and they took my blood for a new AMH.

We discussed my options for moving forward.  The discussion was pretty much in line with the last conversation I had with my egg freezing doctor.  If my AMH is okay and my Fallopian tubes are open (I'm scheduled for a Hycosi this Tuesday) then she suggests I try two cycles of drug assisted IUI.  She doesn't think I should waste too much time with it, but as it's much less expensive, and my fertility is unproven, then she thinks it's worth two tries. After that, it's likely to be fresh IVF cycles until I'm either pregnant or running low on resources or we decide that's not a good idea, and then (and only then) will we move on to the frozen eggs.

I've saved and set aside £30k for this journey which is no small thing by any stretch.  That's on top of the money already spent on the egg freezing.  You don't do something like this unless you are really really serious about it.  That money could all have gone to any number of other things.

So, this is where I'm at.  Tomorrow I will call the clinic to see if it's worth proceeding with the Hycosi based on my new AMH test.  I am currently shopping around for donor sperm which will probably be the subject of one of my next posts.  And because of holidays and travel, I'm likely to only be able to start my first cycle of trying to get pregnant in January.  But that's fine.  I have a plan, I'm moving forward, I'm taking action, and holy crap this is really happening.

Stay tuned.

Budget:

Initial Consultation	£370
Current total	£370