It's weird how pregnancy is counted in weeks, but most people not involved in pregnancy think in months. So today it is one month until my due date. hard to believe!
I'm pretty much almost ready for baby girl to arrive. The nursery furniture is finally pretty much complete and I've started washing things. There is a lot of stuff to wash!! So many hand me downs. I'm not at all complaining, I think it's great to get so much free stuff, most of it really nice and hardly worn. It's just a lot of laundry and sorting since I have bags of various sizes. The nursery actually looks like a baby room which is kind of exciting. The only thing I have left is for the blackout curtains to arrive and swap over from what's there now. And I'm still on the hunt for a petite rocking chair I can put in there as most gliders are just too big for the space, but I think a rocking chair would be nice to have.
My hospital appointment with the head midwife went well, and I'm approved to go to the birth center if labor starts on its own. I've done a first draft of my birth plan. I've starting eating 6 dates a day. I'm also doing the perineal massage with Elastolabo and in a little over a week I'll start the Epi-No. I'm not sure why the Elastolabo is no longer readily available, but I have some tubes of it, so I'm using it. All of this preparation and I think it will be just my luck and I end up with a Cesarean or something. It will be what it will be, but I'm trying to do as much preparation as possible.
Meanwhile I now see the midwife every week. Not this Tuesday, but next Tuesday I'm supposed to have my appointment at the hospital in the birthing center. I wasn't able to call this week so I need to get that arranged first thing tomorrow.
Baby girl is getting bigger and so is my belly. She isn't the most energetic baby. She does move around but often it feels very mild and I have to pay attention. Sometime she clearly gets into a position where I feel her much stronger (and can see her moving) but mostly it's subtle feelings. This can stress me out because I keep getting told to pay attention if I don't feel anything, and often I really don't. Overall, pregnancy has sort of suited me. Aside from the small issues I've had, I generally feel comfortable, healthy, and fine. Pregnancy doesn't have to be this big uncomfortable ordeal. I do feel for women who clearly are having issues, but it also obviously doesn't happen to everyone. So overall I feel lucky. I mean, this is probably the only time in my life that I will be pregnant (or at least that's how I feel right now), so I'm glad that I'm sort of getting to enjoy it. I'll definitely miss feeling baby girl moving around in there. It's been truly special.
Next thing to get on top of is packing the hospital bag. My friend was down this weekend and helped me with some of that (and brought me a bunch of stuff we'd bought together when I visited in October). So I'm probably halfway packed. I was thinking of making some chocolate peanut butter oatmeal energy balls for snacking on during labor. And I should think about stocking up the freezer with some ready meals of some kind or another.
Work is so busy right now (although all in positive ways, so that's good)- I can't believe the first 2 weeks of January are already gone. Soon I won't be at work, and soon after baby will be here! I can't even begin to imagine how my life is going to change and what it's going to be like to have her here for real, separate from me. It's still terrifying to some level, but exciting as well. And it's going to be soon now!!
Showing posts with label schedule. Show all posts
Showing posts with label schedule. Show all posts
Sunday, January 15, 2017
Friday, January 6, 2017
34w2d - Obstetrician meeting
I am pleased to report that my meeting with the consultant obstetrician yesterday went very well. Unlike the first one I saw, this one was very relaxed about my birth. She checked that I knew I was there to discuss induction. I did, and said that I was inclined to not have one at 39w but would be open to one at 40w as long as I had a check first to see if anything was happening on its own. She then suggested that was fine, and that I actually wait a couple more days, especially if I had a 'stretch and sweep'. So an induction has been tentatively scheduled for February 17th. But, she also said that if I don't want one then, I don't have to have one and can just be monitored. So basically, she offered the expectant monitoring without my having to ask for it. It was all a very reasonable and unexciting conversation, so that was great.
I had my last hypnobirthing class last night which was more about after birth and once baby arrives. Which had a lot to do with breast feeding. I am intending to breast feed, so I wasn't in need of any convincing. I did say though, that for some people it just doesn't work, no matter how well intentioned, and that similar to c-sections or other things related to birth, we need to stop demonizing other choices people make. I don't have any reason at this point to think I won't be able to breast feed, and I will try everything possible to get it going. But if something is wrong and I ultimately need to switch to formula? Then that's fine too.
On Monday I have my last hospital appointment for a while, this time with one of the head midwives at the birth center. My last hoop to jump through is to get permission to be allowed into the birth center if labor starts naturally. They are not inclined to allow this initially due to my age (of course) because they want continuous monitoring which can only be done on the ward. Except there doesn't seem to be any benefit to continuous monitoring, and anyway, the birth center is one floor down from the ward, so if needed, I can be moved. Anyway, I'm hoping that the meeting goes smoothly like yesterday's did and then everything is settled.
In the meanwhile I've been working on my birth plan. I'm torn between some of the visual/picture ones I've seen and just writing one out with bullet points. At the moment I'm going bullet points because I don't have the software on my computer here to do the visual one. I'll send a draft copy to my doulas to get their input and point out anything I may have missed.
The first week of January has really flown by. Granted it was a 4-day week. Still, baby girl is going to be here before I know it. I can't believe it.
I had my last hypnobirthing class last night which was more about after birth and once baby arrives. Which had a lot to do with breast feeding. I am intending to breast feed, so I wasn't in need of any convincing. I did say though, that for some people it just doesn't work, no matter how well intentioned, and that similar to c-sections or other things related to birth, we need to stop demonizing other choices people make. I don't have any reason at this point to think I won't be able to breast feed, and I will try everything possible to get it going. But if something is wrong and I ultimately need to switch to formula? Then that's fine too.
On Monday I have my last hospital appointment for a while, this time with one of the head midwives at the birth center. My last hoop to jump through is to get permission to be allowed into the birth center if labor starts naturally. They are not inclined to allow this initially due to my age (of course) because they want continuous monitoring which can only be done on the ward. Except there doesn't seem to be any benefit to continuous monitoring, and anyway, the birth center is one floor down from the ward, so if needed, I can be moved. Anyway, I'm hoping that the meeting goes smoothly like yesterday's did and then everything is settled.
In the meanwhile I've been working on my birth plan. I'm torn between some of the visual/picture ones I've seen and just writing one out with bullet points. At the moment I'm going bullet points because I don't have the software on my computer here to do the visual one. I'll send a draft copy to my doulas to get their input and point out anything I may have missed.
The first week of January has really flown by. Granted it was a 4-day week. Still, baby girl is going to be here before I know it. I can't believe it.
Monday, December 19, 2016
31w5d - Strange dream
Last night was the first time I had a dream about giving birth. I've had dreams about having a child, or being pregnant, but typically the actual 'birth' is something that gets glossed over in my dreams. Perhaps because this is becoming more prominent and I'm doing more reading and classes, but last night I dreamed about the birth itself. It was very strange of course, because I don't have real experience to draw on, so it was very surreal. On the plus side, it wasn't awful. So there's that.
I had my second official meeting with my doulas yesterday. That was good, they're really great. I need to start writing up my birth plan. We covered a lot of areas and things they will help me with in the upcoming weeks. One of them always goes with me to the hypnobirthing class which is nice for me and a win win for them, so all good. One will come with me to my scan on January 4th and the other will come with me to my obstetricians meeting on January 5th. Not entirely sure why I'm having the scan, though I'm not upset because I like seeing baby girl. The obstetrician meeting will be to discuss induction. I think right now I am going to not agree to a 39w induction but I will agree to a 40w induction in the hopes that I will go into labor before then. The other meeting I need to set up is with one of the head of midwifery at the Rosie to get permission that if I do go into labor I can go to the birth center and not straight to the delivery unit. Apparently this is what is recommended for women over 40 but I'm not very happy with that. If I go into normal labor, I want the chance to have a comfortable labor in the lovely birthing center. If something goes wrong, or I decide I need medical help, then they can stick me in the lift and take me upstairs to the delivery unit. But I don't want to start there.
So that's what's going on in pregnancy world at the moment. The pregnancy itself is progressing fine. Baby girl is obviously getting bigger so I can feel her more. Last night she really poked out prominently which was almost shocking! I wish I'd filmed it. I still cycle to and from work which feels perfectly fine. I might even be getting used to my hand and feet issues as they don't seem to be bothering me as much. I guess I'm in one of the 'accepting' phases of physicality. Give it a week or two and I'll be more uncomfortable again!
I can't believe that it's the last week of work before the holiday break. When I get back to work in January, it's a one month countdown until I'm off on maternity leave. It's so fast!! I'm starting to look forward to the change and for baby girl to go from an idea to reality. And I can't believe it's going to be happening so soon. I can't even begin to imagine all the different ways in which my life is going to change, but I'm getting excited about it.
Tuesday, July 12, 2016
48 dpo 9w2d - First midwife appointment
I've had my first midwife appointment which was fine. It took some time, as there seemed to be a lot of information to enter into the system. I would say the meeting was mostly procedural. There wasn't necessarily any new information from this meeting. She went over with me what vitamins I should be taking, what I should and shouldn't be eating, that I should be exercising but not adding new hardcore routines. I brought along a printout of the donor profile so I could answer any questions about 'the other side' which was useful. We touched briefly on where I might want to give birth, and who might be in the room with me. I don't know yet enough about my pregnancy to make any decisions about where to give birth, although I know I really don't want to do it at home. I think I will be too high risk for that anyway, but it otherwise it really doesn't interest me. The birth center is literally attached to the delivery hospital (same building) so you can always start off in the birth center and be quickly transferred if needed, which seems reasonable. But I'll find out more about how it works later in the pregnancy. We also discussed my relationship with the boyfriend and she agreed that a doula is probably a good idea for me, even if the boyfriend decides he wants to be involved. So that was good to talk about albeit briefly.
Part of the meeting was clearly to assess risk factors. Because of my age (almost 42) and my weight (BMI 34.5) and my history of an abdominal surgery (ovary removal) this puts me at various risks for various things. So one of the things she set me up with was a meeting with an obstetrician. I guess in the UK you don't meet with an obstetrician regularly unless you are high risk. So I'll go to be assessed and either they'll continue to want to see me or they'll release me back to my midwife team/GP. I may also have an extra scan due to my age. I'm also at a higher risk for pre-eclampsia so I'll need to start taking a daily baby aspirin at 12 weeks.
But basically that was all fine. The next steps are that I scheduled a blood test for Thursday and I need to also provide a urine sample (in the smallest urine pot known to man I might add). I am now expecting 3 letters: a welcome from the midwife detailing our discussion and baby aspirin stuff; an appointment letter for my 12 week scan at the hospital which includes a permission form for the Nuchal screening; and, an appointment letter for a meeting with the obstetrician. I've also confirmed that they don't do NIPT yet, so I'm going to schedule that next week. The midwife told me about another Cambridge based private clinic that offers it, but it's cheaper at the one I found already, so I think I'll stick to that. I think I'll also go for the Serenity Plus test over the Harmony. I don't think it makes very much difference at all, except I think I'll get the Serenity results quicker.
Oh, and I also asked about the Cyclogest/progesterone because I'm down to just a few days left. The midwife said I needed to call the IVF clinic to ask how long I should be on it, so I called them when I got back and had a very nice chat with one of the nurses who was there throughout my procedures. She said they normally would end around 7 weeks, and they're happy for it to stop at 9 weeks. She said it's up to me if I stop cold turkey or reduce then taper but it shouldn't make any difference at this point. So I think I will do a full dose tomorrow which is officially 9 weeks if you follow the retrieval/fertilization date. Then I will drop to one a day until I run out and I might every other day the last one or two. So that's one bit of good news that I don't have to be sticking things up my bottom twice a day very soon!
In other news, another woman on the forum in my group has miscarried which is just awful. I was hoping that we would not be the standard statistic as a group and yet we have reached it. And there could still yet be more. It's so heartbreaking. I try to stick to my mantra but am well aware there are still some big hurdles to get past. The NIPT and the 12 week scan being the big ones. I know that there is nothing I can do. What is going to happen is going to happen. The not knowing can be just so hard though.
Part of the meeting was clearly to assess risk factors. Because of my age (almost 42) and my weight (BMI 34.5) and my history of an abdominal surgery (ovary removal) this puts me at various risks for various things. So one of the things she set me up with was a meeting with an obstetrician. I guess in the UK you don't meet with an obstetrician regularly unless you are high risk. So I'll go to be assessed and either they'll continue to want to see me or they'll release me back to my midwife team/GP. I may also have an extra scan due to my age. I'm also at a higher risk for pre-eclampsia so I'll need to start taking a daily baby aspirin at 12 weeks.
But basically that was all fine. The next steps are that I scheduled a blood test for Thursday and I need to also provide a urine sample (in the smallest urine pot known to man I might add). I am now expecting 3 letters: a welcome from the midwife detailing our discussion and baby aspirin stuff; an appointment letter for my 12 week scan at the hospital which includes a permission form for the Nuchal screening; and, an appointment letter for a meeting with the obstetrician. I've also confirmed that they don't do NIPT yet, so I'm going to schedule that next week. The midwife told me about another Cambridge based private clinic that offers it, but it's cheaper at the one I found already, so I think I'll stick to that. I think I'll also go for the Serenity Plus test over the Harmony. I don't think it makes very much difference at all, except I think I'll get the Serenity results quicker.
Oh, and I also asked about the Cyclogest/progesterone because I'm down to just a few days left. The midwife said I needed to call the IVF clinic to ask how long I should be on it, so I called them when I got back and had a very nice chat with one of the nurses who was there throughout my procedures. She said they normally would end around 7 weeks, and they're happy for it to stop at 9 weeks. She said it's up to me if I stop cold turkey or reduce then taper but it shouldn't make any difference at this point. So I think I will do a full dose tomorrow which is officially 9 weeks if you follow the retrieval/fertilization date. Then I will drop to one a day until I run out and I might every other day the last one or two. So that's one bit of good news that I don't have to be sticking things up my bottom twice a day very soon!
In other news, another woman on the forum in my group has miscarried which is just awful. I was hoping that we would not be the standard statistic as a group and yet we have reached it. And there could still yet be more. It's so heartbreaking. I try to stick to my mantra but am well aware there are still some big hurdles to get past. The NIPT and the 12 week scan being the big ones. I know that there is nothing I can do. What is going to happen is going to happen. The not knowing can be just so hard though.
Friday, June 17, 2016
23dpo 5w5d - Finally a letter
So I finally got my letter from obstetrics telling me my first scan is scheduled for the 29th. That will be 35dpo or 7w3d. Still almost two weeks away. At least it's scheduled. I've also scheduled an appointment with my GP for Monday morning because apparently they arrange all your midwife appointments or some such. I have no idea. Healthcare is very different here than in the States and seeing as how I haven't been pregnant in either place, I really have no idea what the general schedule is. I was talking to a woman in my office who is going on maternity leave today and she said there's a 7 week, 12 week, and 20 week scan, and then the scans are done. It's also not clear to me yet if the UK has rolled out NIPT testing for all women- they did a big study on it and decided they would roll it out, but it's in process. So I don't know if I'll get it as standard or if it will be something else I need to seek out independently.
I peed on a stick this morning and the line came up quickly and dark. So, hCG still rising! In fact it came up so quickly that I'm not sure I'll get any stronger readings off them. I think I have 3 more of the eBay strips left. I also have 4 First Response tests left which seem wasteful. Maybe I'll try and pass them off to someone? Of course everything could go horribly wrong and I may need to start this all over again, so maybe just hold on to them until I'm out of some of the danger zones.
Of course being this early pregnant everything is a worry. I continue to have small twinges on my left side where my ovary is. I am of course obsessed with wondering if this could be signalling an ectopic pregnancy. I don't seem to have any other symptoms, but I don't like occasional twinges in the ovary region. Of course the scan will help verify what is going on- but that's not for two weeks. So until then I'm just trying to not make a mountain out of molehill and be obsessive about it. I got a twinge in the other side as well, which of course then made me think it could be an ectopic pregnancy in my Fallopian tube stump that's left from the surgery. See? Crazy.
In other news I've had my first offer of baby hand me downs, which is awesome! There are some things I'm willing to spend money on if I can't find what I want for a reduced price. But most stuff I'm super happy to take hand me downs for. Babies go through things so quickly and they are barely used. It makes total sense!
Not much else going on. Still haven't heard a word from the friend who dumped on me. I got a day by day pregnancy book which is kind of fun to read over breakfast. Still not really having symptoms that I can notice, which is probably just as well. Still doing my Cycologest/progesterone twice a day at 8am/pm like clockwork. I set an alarm for the evening one- very helpful. Still trying to be good about doing yoga or walking daily (as well as cycling to work). And life goes on!
I peed on a stick this morning and the line came up quickly and dark. So, hCG still rising! In fact it came up so quickly that I'm not sure I'll get any stronger readings off them. I think I have 3 more of the eBay strips left. I also have 4 First Response tests left which seem wasteful. Maybe I'll try and pass them off to someone? Of course everything could go horribly wrong and I may need to start this all over again, so maybe just hold on to them until I'm out of some of the danger zones.
Of course being this early pregnant everything is a worry. I continue to have small twinges on my left side where my ovary is. I am of course obsessed with wondering if this could be signalling an ectopic pregnancy. I don't seem to have any other symptoms, but I don't like occasional twinges in the ovary region. Of course the scan will help verify what is going on- but that's not for two weeks. So until then I'm just trying to not make a mountain out of molehill and be obsessive about it. I got a twinge in the other side as well, which of course then made me think it could be an ectopic pregnancy in my Fallopian tube stump that's left from the surgery. See? Crazy.
In other news I've had my first offer of baby hand me downs, which is awesome! There are some things I'm willing to spend money on if I can't find what I want for a reduced price. But most stuff I'm super happy to take hand me downs for. Babies go through things so quickly and they are barely used. It makes total sense!
Not much else going on. Still haven't heard a word from the friend who dumped on me. I got a day by day pregnancy book which is kind of fun to read over breakfast. Still not really having symptoms that I can notice, which is probably just as well. Still doing my Cycologest/progesterone twice a day at 8am/pm like clockwork. I set an alarm for the evening one- very helpful. Still trying to be good about doing yoga or walking daily (as well as cycling to work). And life goes on!
Friday, June 3, 2016
IVF 1 - Day 26 3dp6dt
I peed on a stick this morning and it was negative. But it's only a little stick, and it's only 9 days past ovulation or 3 days past my 6 day transfer. Meaning, I don't think it means anything at the moment. My clinic wants me to test on 16 days past ovulation or 10dp6dt. So I'm a bit away from that and testing now is very early and inconclusive. But it gives me something to do in the morning at least.
Because there is nothing else to do about this. Just wait. Wait wait wait. I don't physically feel anything at all, which also means pretty much nothing. Some people do swear up and down they get various 'signs' they are pregnant but plenty of people don't. Really it's just all about the waiting.
If this cycle is not successful, then I will at some point have a period, and I believe I can start prepping for a frozen embryo transfer the period after the next one. So if I am not successful there will be a gap of a month before I can start again.
I just want to know.... it's hard to be patient!
Because there is nothing else to do about this. Just wait. Wait wait wait. I don't physically feel anything at all, which also means pretty much nothing. Some people do swear up and down they get various 'signs' they are pregnant but plenty of people don't. Really it's just all about the waiting.
If this cycle is not successful, then I will at some point have a period, and I believe I can start prepping for a frozen embryo transfer the period after the next one. So if I am not successful there will be a gap of a month before I can start again.
I just want to know.... it's hard to be patient!
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
IVF 1 - Day 23 6 Day report and transfer
So the good news is that two of the morulas have emerged to be good blastocysts. One is from one of the frozen eggs (the leading blastocyst rated good/very good which is partially emerging/hatching) and the other is from the fresh collection (rated good/good). Two more emerged but have yet to re-inflate so are considered slow growers and perhaps not good for freezing. Two failed to emerge. This means I am going for a transfer today!
When I was speaking to the embryologist this morning she dropped into our conversation something about transferring two. I have been reasonably comfortable with the idea of transferring one. I was a bit surprised that she assumed I would transfer two as my clinic is very much against increasing the risk of multiples and makes a big deal about transferring one. So I am struck with a conundrum. Do I transfer one or two? I can wait until the transfer to decide which is exactly 2 hours away. I texted a good friend of mine who has undergone many many IVF cycles (15?). Her first pregnancy was with twins and it did not end happily. It was a complicated pregnancy (she is tiny) where she delivered prematurely. One of the babies had problems and was in the NICU for months before finally succumbing to his issues. While she's been very aggressive about fertility treatment, she says that she would never suggest to anyone to put back more than one now.
The balance is this - as you get older, your chance of successful live birth go down rapidly due to non-viability issues. If they transfer two, your risk of multiples goes up. Basically you are playing a game with weighing the risk of multiples against increasing your chances for one healthy baby. If you do one at a time, you are looking at financial, time, and emotional costs. If you transfer two, you run the risk of a multiple pregnancy which is higher risk and could result in various complications including increasing your chance of miscarriage. Basically, for women under 38 they only recommend one but as you get older, the viability issue creeps up and up making it balance out to suggest that they are more comfortable with two.
I have the added complication that the leading embryo is not from 41 year old me but from 38 or 39 year old me, so right on the cusp. Maybe if it was two 41 year old embryos, I'd feel differently. But I'm nervous. I do not want twins. I am prepared to raise a single child. I will obviously make due if I get identical twins. But I do not need to do anything to increase my risks of multiples because it would make life incredibly difficult.
So I'm leaning towards the one and freezing the other. The clinic says they have a 90-95% success rate with thawing embryos, so it's very likely that if this one doesn't take I can do a frozen embryo transfer. If that one doesn't take, I can do all of this over again. It's not like I have so many embryos to freeze. We're talking about one frozen embryo transfer before I'd have to start anew if this one doesn't take.
So I think I'm leaning towards transferring the one, but I will definitely talk to the doctor when I'm at the clinic later to make the final decision. I'm not against it if they think it's a very good idea. But I definitely do not want to increase my risk of twins by much at all.
Very excited about the transfer today. Still can't really believe it. Still very nervous that it's just going to be negative results. Trying not to be too hopeful but maintain positivity.
When I was speaking to the embryologist this morning she dropped into our conversation something about transferring two. I have been reasonably comfortable with the idea of transferring one. I was a bit surprised that she assumed I would transfer two as my clinic is very much against increasing the risk of multiples and makes a big deal about transferring one. So I am struck with a conundrum. Do I transfer one or two? I can wait until the transfer to decide which is exactly 2 hours away. I texted a good friend of mine who has undergone many many IVF cycles (15?). Her first pregnancy was with twins and it did not end happily. It was a complicated pregnancy (she is tiny) where she delivered prematurely. One of the babies had problems and was in the NICU for months before finally succumbing to his issues. While she's been very aggressive about fertility treatment, she says that she would never suggest to anyone to put back more than one now.
The balance is this - as you get older, your chance of successful live birth go down rapidly due to non-viability issues. If they transfer two, your risk of multiples goes up. Basically you are playing a game with weighing the risk of multiples against increasing your chances for one healthy baby. If you do one at a time, you are looking at financial, time, and emotional costs. If you transfer two, you run the risk of a multiple pregnancy which is higher risk and could result in various complications including increasing your chance of miscarriage. Basically, for women under 38 they only recommend one but as you get older, the viability issue creeps up and up making it balance out to suggest that they are more comfortable with two.
I have the added complication that the leading embryo is not from 41 year old me but from 38 or 39 year old me, so right on the cusp. Maybe if it was two 41 year old embryos, I'd feel differently. But I'm nervous. I do not want twins. I am prepared to raise a single child. I will obviously make due if I get identical twins. But I do not need to do anything to increase my risks of multiples because it would make life incredibly difficult.
So I'm leaning towards the one and freezing the other. The clinic says they have a 90-95% success rate with thawing embryos, so it's very likely that if this one doesn't take I can do a frozen embryo transfer. If that one doesn't take, I can do all of this over again. It's not like I have so many embryos to freeze. We're talking about one frozen embryo transfer before I'd have to start anew if this one doesn't take.
So I think I'm leaning towards transferring the one, but I will definitely talk to the doctor when I'm at the clinic later to make the final decision. I'm not against it if they think it's a very good idea. But I definitely do not want to increase my risk of twins by much at all.
Very excited about the transfer today. Still can't really believe it. Still very nervous that it's just going to be negative results. Trying not to be too hopeful but maintain positivity.
Saturday, May 28, 2016
IVF 1 - Day 20 3 day report
The embryologist called me this morning to report that I have 6, 3-day embryos. One of the fertilized seven seems to have stopped after a two cell split and isn't expect to go any further. Of the 6, four are very good and two are good. Interestingly, from the thawed frozen eggs, the best looking 3-day embryo is one of the frozen, but the one that stopped after dividing is the other.
I discussed with the embryologist that we will wait until day 5 for a hopeful transfer. He warned me that from these 6, I would be looking at 2-3 blastocysts comfortably, and that 4 would be an exceptional outcome. Fingers crossed there is at least one.
I plan to transfer one blastocyst if I'm lucky enough to have more than one. I really don't want multiples. If it happens on its own, that's one thing, but I don't want to increase my chances by transferring two.
The laser assisted hatching will be done later today on all of the embryos. The embryologist told me that if you do it on day 5 you risk injuring the blastocyst. On day 3, the shell or zona pellucida is still thick and easy to nick with the laser. It thins towards day 5 so becomes more difficult. It seems a fairly routine procedure so I'm not too worried about anything going wrong. Also, I asked, and it's completely fine and normal to freeze a blastocyst which has already had the assisted hatching. I'm glad they said they'd cap the cost at £250 now!! Otherwise that would have been £125 per embryo. I would have spent it of course, but I'm glad for the discount with 6 to do.
I've been feeling pretty bloated and a bit crampy since the egg retrieval. Looking online, this could also be due to starting the progesterone/Cyclogest. I'm not loving that I've got to take a suppository twice a day for what I hope is something like the next 10 weeks. I'll do it obviously, I'm just not loving it. And I hope the bloating and cramps reduce.
I'm sort of amazed when I think about it- that eggs from my body have been fertilized with sperm and there is potential life in a petri dish at the clinic. It's actually sort of hard to get my head around. You spend so long focusing on trying to conceive, it's hard to imagine the jump to the next step. I'm not there yet of course, and all of this may not work and could go horribly wrong. But a thread of me is still pretty hopeful and giddy with anticipation.
I discussed with the embryologist that we will wait until day 5 for a hopeful transfer. He warned me that from these 6, I would be looking at 2-3 blastocysts comfortably, and that 4 would be an exceptional outcome. Fingers crossed there is at least one.
I plan to transfer one blastocyst if I'm lucky enough to have more than one. I really don't want multiples. If it happens on its own, that's one thing, but I don't want to increase my chances by transferring two.
The laser assisted hatching will be done later today on all of the embryos. The embryologist told me that if you do it on day 5 you risk injuring the blastocyst. On day 3, the shell or zona pellucida is still thick and easy to nick with the laser. It thins towards day 5 so becomes more difficult. It seems a fairly routine procedure so I'm not too worried about anything going wrong. Also, I asked, and it's completely fine and normal to freeze a blastocyst which has already had the assisted hatching. I'm glad they said they'd cap the cost at £250 now!! Otherwise that would have been £125 per embryo. I would have spent it of course, but I'm glad for the discount with 6 to do.
I've been feeling pretty bloated and a bit crampy since the egg retrieval. Looking online, this could also be due to starting the progesterone/Cyclogest. I'm not loving that I've got to take a suppository twice a day for what I hope is something like the next 10 weeks. I'll do it obviously, I'm just not loving it. And I hope the bloating and cramps reduce.
I'm sort of amazed when I think about it- that eggs from my body have been fertilized with sperm and there is potential life in a petri dish at the clinic. It's actually sort of hard to get my head around. You spend so long focusing on trying to conceive, it's hard to imagine the jump to the next step. I'm not there yet of course, and all of this may not work and could go horribly wrong. But a thread of me is still pretty hopeful and giddy with anticipation.
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
IVF 1 - Day 16 A Drug Free Day
It's very weird not to be worried about doing my injections today. I'm trying to make myself drink a lot of water as I was told to, but I keep forgetting. I am sort of known for not drinking a lot in general.
I had a look at my egg freezing cycles charting and I think I was charting stimulation days not period days, so this would be Day 15 on stims and Day 16 counting from period day 1. By comparison, my egg freezing retrievals were Day 17, 17, and 16. So I'm on target for tomorrow compared to previous cycles, on the early side. For some reason I find reassurance in being consistent.
I just got cash out of the machine in preparation for my taxi to the clinic in the morning- no cycling for me! I also bought some snacks yesterday as they told me I might want to bring my own as all they provide are unexciting biscuits. And of course I won't be having any food after dinner tonight until around 11ish tomorrow.
My friend is coming around 11:30/12:00 to pick me up in her car and take me home. I've asked at every single scan if this will be okay- that she's not there 'from the start' as it says in the literature they sent me home with. If I get any flack about this tomorrow morning I will throw a massive fit. On the off chance my friend is late I'm also bringing my kindle and tablet but I suspect I'll only be coming around fully about 11ish anyway.
Right now this all feels very surreal. My ovary isn't particularly noticeable. I haven't done any injections. I'm sitting at work (procrastinating by writing in my blog). It's hard to believe this is really happening tomorrow. And of course there's the caveat of all the possible failure points between now and a successful transfer.
At least I'll be busy at a workshop Thursday and Friday through the majority of the first phases of waiting. Oh, and I completely forgot to pee on a stick this morning. I think I can still do it this afternoon to see the double line. If I remember.
I had a look at my egg freezing cycles charting and I think I was charting stimulation days not period days, so this would be Day 15 on stims and Day 16 counting from period day 1. By comparison, my egg freezing retrievals were Day 17, 17, and 16. So I'm on target for tomorrow compared to previous cycles, on the early side. For some reason I find reassurance in being consistent.
I just got cash out of the machine in preparation for my taxi to the clinic in the morning- no cycling for me! I also bought some snacks yesterday as they told me I might want to bring my own as all they provide are unexciting biscuits. And of course I won't be having any food after dinner tonight until around 11ish tomorrow.
My friend is coming around 11:30/12:00 to pick me up in her car and take me home. I've asked at every single scan if this will be okay- that she's not there 'from the start' as it says in the literature they sent me home with. If I get any flack about this tomorrow morning I will throw a massive fit. On the off chance my friend is late I'm also bringing my kindle and tablet but I suspect I'll only be coming around fully about 11ish anyway.
Right now this all feels very surreal. My ovary isn't particularly noticeable. I haven't done any injections. I'm sitting at work (procrastinating by writing in my blog). It's hard to believe this is really happening tomorrow. And of course there's the caveat of all the possible failure points between now and a successful transfer.
At least I'll be busy at a workshop Thursday and Friday through the majority of the first phases of waiting. Oh, and I completely forgot to pee on a stick this morning. I think I can still do it this afternoon to see the double line. If I remember.
Monday, May 23, 2016
IVF 1 - Day 15 last scan
Had my last scan this morning to confirm the egg retrieval schedule. I take my Ovitrelle injection at 9pm tonight and my retrieval is scheduled for 9am Wednesday morning (of course I need to be at the clinic sooner). I think I'm the first one of the day so that they can defrost the frozen eggs and then let me know if they defrosted okay or if they suggest defrosting anymore. It looks like there were around 9 or 10 follicles of varrying sizes so I'm hoping for 5 fresh eggs. If I get 5, that would be a good result all things considered. On the day of the procedure I will take an antibiotic at 7:30am and I start the progesterone (Cyclogest) the day after the procedure. I need to make sure I have everything prepared because I'll be away at this workshop Thursday and Friday. But really, all it is I need is the Cyclogest I think. I might pee on a stick tomorrow just to see what a positive test looks like from the trigger. That is perhaps wasteful, but part of me wants to just make sure my ebay tests work.
So close now! It's going to be hurdle after hurdle to get from here to a successful transfer. There's a lot of possible failure points. Fingers crossed.
So close now! It's going to be hurdle after hurdle to get from here to a successful transfer. There's a lot of possible failure points. Fingers crossed.
Friday, May 20, 2016
IVF 1 - Day 12 retrieval scheduled
Just a quick update to say that I finally heard back from the clinic after having a mini panic when they hadn't called me by 4:20. I called them, only to find that they close their phone lines at 4pm (even though they are open until 5pm). I ended up emailing every email I had for someone there to say please let me know what the fuck is happening (in nicer words). I finally got a call just past 4:40. Apparently they specifically close the lines so that they can make all the calls back to people but you know, it's the end of the day, it's stressful, maybe not the best plan.
Anyway, retrieval is Wednesday! I do have another scan and probably blood test on Monday which I don't entirely understand, but fine. I guess we'll see if I lose the big follicle and if the other slightly smaller ones have caught up. I have enough drugs to see me through to then. But yay! Work crisis averted! Retrieval scheduled! Friend with car arranged for pick up! Kind of exciting....
Anyway, retrieval is Wednesday! I do have another scan and probably blood test on Monday which I don't entirely understand, but fine. I guess we'll see if I lose the big follicle and if the other slightly smaller ones have caught up. I have enough drugs to see me through to then. But yay! Work crisis averted! Retrieval scheduled! Friend with car arranged for pick up! Kind of exciting....
Monday, May 16, 2016
IVF 1 - Day 8 First scan of the cycle
I had my first scan today on day 8 of my cycle (day 7 by stimulation days). I managed to get completely confused about when the appointment was based on how I put it in my diary which meant I showed up at 9:30 for a 9:00am appointment. Luckily this was no problem at all and they saw me pretty much straight away. It took the nurse two tries to get blood out of my arms. I've decided that I think this blood issue is related to the 15 minute cycle ride I take to get to the clinic. Typically if I've been cycling for over 10 minutes, my hands start to go numb and feel like I'm having circulation problems. Because the first thing they do at the clinic is the blood draw, I think the problem with getting blood out is related to this. I suggested next time they do it after the scan, we'll see if that helps.
So anyway, the scan was fine. The nurse who did it had a little bit of trouble with their new equipment because it wouldn't get to where she could tag the follicles. This meant I had the wand in me for a while until she managed to reboot the machine and finally get it it to work. It also means though I got a pretty good look at the ovary. So far so good. The Gonal F is clearly working even though I'm not feeling anything yet. I had around 7 follicles that were all 9.5-10.5mm, so that was great. The ideal is for them all to be around the same size and they generally were. It was clear at that magnification which ones were slightly bigger, but anyway, that was good, and there's still pretty much the rest of this week to go and for things to continue to grow and change. In addition, my uterine lining also looked good. The nurse was very positive and pleased, so that made me happy.
Of course I don't want to get my hopes up too high because in the last two of my egg freezing cycles, I had I think 9 and then 7 follicles and then only got 4 and then 3 mature eggs. So even though seven sounds exciting, I'm trying to preparing for a low return.
My next scan is on Wednesday, and then I've already got one scheduled for Friday. By Friday it should be clear if I'm coming in for a scan on Monday or if I trigger or what. I'm still thinking that based on previous egg freezing cycles that my egg retrieval will be next Wednesday, but we'll see. I did ask this morning about this process as they require someone to take you home and stay with you (for 24 hours - or anyway that's what they say). A friend of mine has offered to collect me in her car and stay with me for the afternoon, but she can't come until noon give or take. However, I saw in the reading they gave me that they want the person who is going to take you home to be there from the start. Well that's crazy- I can't just have random friends taking all day off work to sit around for a few hours while I have a procedure!! It's hard enough to get people to be able to take time off to collect me at the right time! This is for sure one of those times where I get very frustrated with the single mother element, and I also was frustrated during the egg freezing process. Having been looking at doulas recently, I wonder if this isn't a service they should maybe consider starting to offer. I'll deal with it, but it's annoying. And now I have to wait to find out if I need someone there 'all day' or if someone can just come at the end. I don't want to ask the boyfriend as I think it will upset him. Also, he doesn't have a car, so I'd have to book a taxi at which point I get annoyed about why I have to have anyone with me to begin with. But I will work it out.
In other news I was at a dinner on Saturday night with some of my students who were graduating this weekend. I had 1/4 a glass of wine. I'm not going to kill myself over this. I've been very good at taking all of my vitamins and morning pills, etc. 1/4 glass of wine is not going to make a difference!
Oh yeah, and I've started taking the Ogalutran which is Ganirelex (which I didn't know) in the morning. I like that it comes in pre-filled syringes unlike the Cetrotide I had to mix and took during the egg freezing cycles. However, it stings a bit after injecting it which I don't like as much. For some reason the shots this cycle have all been more bothersome and often quite pokey. Occasionally I get one in where I really can't feel it, but more often than not they feel pretty sharp. Annoying!
Anyway, next update Wednesday I imagine.
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
IVF 1 - Day 3
So managed to do my first injection last night but forgot I had a dinner to go to and so didn't do it until 10pm which was a bit later than my intended 8pm. Today I have my drugs with me as I'll have to inject after the movie which will be around 8:30/9:00. At least I'm moving it in the right direction and should be then back on an 8pm routine.
The shot hurt a bit last night- I don't know why. Just didn't get the angle quite right so it was very pokey going in and I even moved it to see if it would be less pokey, but no. Anyway, I got it done and that was that.
I forgot that this morning I had an appointment with the counselor up at my clinic so I got in to work a bit late, turned on my computer, looked at my diary and was like, 'Oh shit!' so I had to put all my stuff back on and cycle to the clinic. Oops. While I was there I had a chat with the nursing team about when my first scan is scheduled for. They reassured me that Day 8 (which is their Day 7 since they count stim days, not from period days) is completely regular and fine. They did offer to give me a scan on Friday if I wanted one, but as I would have only been stimming for three days at that point, they didn't think there would be any adjustments. So fine. It really won't make any difference for me to see it on Friday versus Monday so I will just wait. But I felt better for asking.
The talk with the counselor was good. She was very nice. This was a hoop jumping requirement by my clinic due to my use of donor sperm. Right now I feel okay with everything, so I really just chatted to her and she asked some questions and all that was fine. We did spend some time talking about the boyfriend because that is complicated. I don't know that it helped to talk to her about it, but perhaps just again reassured me that I've got this sorted in my own mind and am prepared for what may happen either way (he sticks around or he doesn't stick around if I get pregnant). He and I still don't talk about the baby plan although I continue to update him on each step as I'm doing it. I know he's not properly dealt with it in his own mind yet, but it's really just not my problem. It would be my problem if I was relying on him, but I'm not. I enjoy his company for what it is and if I lose it, I'll be sad. But the baby plan is my primary focus and he's not actively part of that. It's also why I was pleased to hear from the pregnant ladies at the DCN conference about doulas. They all advocated for having one with you in the delivery room and I've since looked into it and looks like a great idea. So I'm not even worried about who is going to be there with me because I will pay someone to be there with me.
I worked out with the counselor that it's not that I'm feeling optimistic about all this, it's just that I'm excited to be actually doing it. I'm not unrealistic about the odds, but it's exciting to be doing something- moving forward, etc. Although I may not feel that way a week from now, I feel that way today.
The shot hurt a bit last night- I don't know why. Just didn't get the angle quite right so it was very pokey going in and I even moved it to see if it would be less pokey, but no. Anyway, I got it done and that was that.
I forgot that this morning I had an appointment with the counselor up at my clinic so I got in to work a bit late, turned on my computer, looked at my diary and was like, 'Oh shit!' so I had to put all my stuff back on and cycle to the clinic. Oops. While I was there I had a chat with the nursing team about when my first scan is scheduled for. They reassured me that Day 8 (which is their Day 7 since they count stim days, not from period days) is completely regular and fine. They did offer to give me a scan on Friday if I wanted one, but as I would have only been stimming for three days at that point, they didn't think there would be any adjustments. So fine. It really won't make any difference for me to see it on Friday versus Monday so I will just wait. But I felt better for asking.
The talk with the counselor was good. She was very nice. This was a hoop jumping requirement by my clinic due to my use of donor sperm. Right now I feel okay with everything, so I really just chatted to her and she asked some questions and all that was fine. We did spend some time talking about the boyfriend because that is complicated. I don't know that it helped to talk to her about it, but perhaps just again reassured me that I've got this sorted in my own mind and am prepared for what may happen either way (he sticks around or he doesn't stick around if I get pregnant). He and I still don't talk about the baby plan although I continue to update him on each step as I'm doing it. I know he's not properly dealt with it in his own mind yet, but it's really just not my problem. It would be my problem if I was relying on him, but I'm not. I enjoy his company for what it is and if I lose it, I'll be sad. But the baby plan is my primary focus and he's not actively part of that. It's also why I was pleased to hear from the pregnant ladies at the DCN conference about doulas. They all advocated for having one with you in the delivery room and I've since looked into it and looks like a great idea. So I'm not even worried about who is going to be there with me because I will pay someone to be there with me.
I worked out with the counselor that it's not that I'm feeling optimistic about all this, it's just that I'm excited to be actually doing it. I'm not unrealistic about the odds, but it's exciting to be doing something- moving forward, etc. Although I may not feel that way a week from now, I feel that way today.
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
IVF 1 - Day 2
First shot tonight. Happy to get this show on the road.
I called the clinic yesterday to tell them my period had arrived and schedule my first scan. They said the doctor had put me down for an 'early' scan so they scheduled me to come in on Monday which will be day 8. This is not early. I was sort of taken back by this, as when I did egg freezing, or even when I had the IUI I think they scanned within the first 5 days. Day 8 seems a bit late. I mean, some women even trigger on day 8! Although I for sure will not. I feel that day 8 is a bit late to make any adjustments to the medications. I would have thought I should go in on day 5 which would be Friday. At the moment I'm undecided about whether or not I should call to ask for this or as for the reasoning for putting it off until day 8 or just to suck it up. In general I'm not a fan of the suck it up approach and I prefer more information to less. However, I also vaguely assume my clinic knows what they are doing. Although maybe I shouldn't. Seeing how many follicles there are in the scan, and how they are growing is supposed to help them decide how much drugs I should be taking. By day 8, I'll be more than half way through stimulation, and I don't know that there's much more opportunity for adjustments.
The women on the SMC forum all felt I should push for an earlier scan or at least get in touch with the clinic. I think I'll at least give them a call. The women on the forum also all unanimously supported ICSI for the fresh eggs and assisted hatching for all embryos. So that was interesting as well. I did a bit more google research on ICSI and think it's probably a good idea to just go ahead with that. Assisted hatching also seems like a no brainer although there will be an additional cost per embryo for that. Still, anything that helps. And also, what's £125 when you're spending £6k+?
So it's Gonal-F only for the next few days before I add in the Ogalutran in the mornings. All the drugs are currently taking up the cheese drawer in my fridge. Huh. Actually now that I'm thinking about it, I'm going to the movies tomorrow when I need to inject so I'll have to take the drugs with me. At least they gave me a useful drug carry pouch with a portable sharps container for being away from home. I'm going to go for an 8pm/8am schedule, or as close to that as possible for my injections.
So, still happy to be starting. Still feeling positive. This may obviously be significantly tempered whenever I actually get my first scan and see how many follicles are happening. But also looking forward to finding out what will come out of the frozen eggs.
I called the clinic yesterday to tell them my period had arrived and schedule my first scan. They said the doctor had put me down for an 'early' scan so they scheduled me to come in on Monday which will be day 8. This is not early. I was sort of taken back by this, as when I did egg freezing, or even when I had the IUI I think they scanned within the first 5 days. Day 8 seems a bit late. I mean, some women even trigger on day 8! Although I for sure will not. I feel that day 8 is a bit late to make any adjustments to the medications. I would have thought I should go in on day 5 which would be Friday. At the moment I'm undecided about whether or not I should call to ask for this or as for the reasoning for putting it off until day 8 or just to suck it up. In general I'm not a fan of the suck it up approach and I prefer more information to less. However, I also vaguely assume my clinic knows what they are doing. Although maybe I shouldn't. Seeing how many follicles there are in the scan, and how they are growing is supposed to help them decide how much drugs I should be taking. By day 8, I'll be more than half way through stimulation, and I don't know that there's much more opportunity for adjustments.
The women on the SMC forum all felt I should push for an earlier scan or at least get in touch with the clinic. I think I'll at least give them a call. The women on the forum also all unanimously supported ICSI for the fresh eggs and assisted hatching for all embryos. So that was interesting as well. I did a bit more google research on ICSI and think it's probably a good idea to just go ahead with that. Assisted hatching also seems like a no brainer although there will be an additional cost per embryo for that. Still, anything that helps. And also, what's £125 when you're spending £6k+?
So it's Gonal-F only for the next few days before I add in the Ogalutran in the mornings. All the drugs are currently taking up the cheese drawer in my fridge. Huh. Actually now that I'm thinking about it, I'm going to the movies tomorrow when I need to inject so I'll have to take the drugs with me. At least they gave me a useful drug carry pouch with a portable sharps container for being away from home. I'm going to go for an 8pm/8am schedule, or as close to that as possible for my injections.
So, still happy to be starting. Still feeling positive. This may obviously be significantly tempered whenever I actually get my first scan and see how many follicles are happening. But also looking forward to finding out what will come out of the frozen eggs.
Monday, May 9, 2016
IVF 1 - Day 1
My period is here! My period is here! Who knew it could be so exciting? I'm really a bit shocked that it's come so late, but anywhere, here it is. My last period was particularly early, so I guess it makes sense. On the plus side, this would make a day 17 collection on Wednesday the 25th which would be a good timing, unless they decide for a day 15 collection, but I'll be surprised if this is the case. At any rate, this means I start stims tomorrow night, 300 Gonal F. I'm excited and also a bit nervous to see how this cycle ends up. How many fresh and then mature eggs will I get? How will the frozen eggs defrost? Will any fertilize?
The only decision I need to make now is whether or not to do ICSI and assisted hatching with all of the eggs or some of the eggs, or what. I put it out to the ladies on the forum and it was a unanimous opinion that I should go for both. I have to have ICSI with any of the defrosted frozen eggs, but it's optional for the fresh. Given my age, ICSI is apparently better. Assisted hatching is again recommended for things that are being defrosted and for 'older' eggs. I fit into both categories, so I think I'll just go for both. I did watch a video of ICSI though and it looked a bit violent. Apparently there is a risk of damage to the egg, but it doesn't seem conclusive how that weights out against the risk of not fertilizing at all.
One of my best friends is having a frozen embryo transfer this month on almost the same timing as myself which would be a bit crazy for us to be pregnant at the same time. Of course she's trying for her third child after something like 20+ cycles of various fertility treatments (which gave her the first two), so a little bit different. But it would be sort of fun for me and my friend to be identically pregnant.
Anyway, fingers crossed for this cycle. I don't know why I'm allowing myself to feel optimistic given the odds, but I just can't help it.
The only decision I need to make now is whether or not to do ICSI and assisted hatching with all of the eggs or some of the eggs, or what. I put it out to the ladies on the forum and it was a unanimous opinion that I should go for both. I have to have ICSI with any of the defrosted frozen eggs, but it's optional for the fresh. Given my age, ICSI is apparently better. Assisted hatching is again recommended for things that are being defrosted and for 'older' eggs. I fit into both categories, so I think I'll just go for both. I did watch a video of ICSI though and it looked a bit violent. Apparently there is a risk of damage to the egg, but it doesn't seem conclusive how that weights out against the risk of not fertilizing at all.
One of my best friends is having a frozen embryo transfer this month on almost the same timing as myself which would be a bit crazy for us to be pregnant at the same time. Of course she's trying for her third child after something like 20+ cycles of various fertility treatments (which gave her the first two), so a little bit different. But it would be sort of fun for me and my friend to be identically pregnant.
Anyway, fingers crossed for this cycle. I don't know why I'm allowing myself to feel optimistic given the odds, but I just can't help it.
Friday, May 6, 2016
Obsessing over timing
No period today. I did pee on a stick this morning to make absolutely sure that I wasn't actually pregnant somehow and it got missed from the last cycle. My gut certainly feels like my period is coming. However, so far, no period. In order to avoid the conflict I have with the 26/27 I'm not moderately obsessed with trying to work out the likelihood of it being a problem by fixating on dates. In order to stop obsessing I'm going to dump it all here so I can just look at it to confirm what I'm counting. Indulge me.
If my period arrives tomorrow (May 7) and that was Day 1, then (Option A) Day 17 would be Monday the 23rd and the likely collection day. If I get a poor collection and they want to do a 3-day transfer, that would be on Thursday the 26th (BAD). If I have a good collection and they do a 5-day transfer, that would be on Saturday the 28th (GOOD). If collection was Friday the 20th (day 14, Option B) which is unlikely with my history, a 3-day transfer would be on Monday the 23 (GOOD) and a 5-day transfer would be on Wednesday the 25th (GOOD).
If my period arrives Sunday (May 8) then collection would likely be Monday the 23rd (day 16) and we again have Option A. Or, it could be Wednesday the 25th (day 18, Option C) which would mean a day 3 transfer would be on Saturday the 28th (GOOD) and a 5 day transfer would be on Monday the 30th (GOOD).
If my period arrives Monday (May 9) then collection could be Monday the 23rd (day 15) and we're on Option A again, or collection is more likely to be on Wednesday the 25th (day 17) which would be Option C.
So basically, a 25% chance that the timing will suck.
I have managed to line up a last minute fill in for me if this is the case, but I hope it's not. However, looking at it like this gives me some comfort because it's only in the case of a less desired outcome (no good embryos collected on Monday the 23rd) that it's the BAD scenario and I'm obviously hoping for good embryos that make it to blastocyst in which case all of the options are good. Okay. Maybe I can stop obsessing about this now!!
If my period arrives tomorrow (May 7) and that was Day 1, then (Option A) Day 17 would be Monday the 23rd and the likely collection day. If I get a poor collection and they want to do a 3-day transfer, that would be on Thursday the 26th (BAD). If I have a good collection and they do a 5-day transfer, that would be on Saturday the 28th (GOOD). If collection was Friday the 20th (day 14, Option B) which is unlikely with my history, a 3-day transfer would be on Monday the 23 (GOOD) and a 5-day transfer would be on Wednesday the 25th (GOOD).
If my period arrives Sunday (May 8) then collection would likely be Monday the 23rd (day 16) and we again have Option A. Or, it could be Wednesday the 25th (day 18, Option C) which would mean a day 3 transfer would be on Saturday the 28th (GOOD) and a 5 day transfer would be on Monday the 30th (GOOD).
If my period arrives Monday (May 9) then collection could be Monday the 23rd (day 15) and we're on Option A again, or collection is more likely to be on Wednesday the 25th (day 17) which would be Option C.
So basically, a 25% chance that the timing will suck.
I have managed to line up a last minute fill in for me if this is the case, but I hope it's not. However, looking at it like this gives me some comfort because it's only in the case of a less desired outcome (no good embryos collected on Monday the 23rd) that it's the BAD scenario and I'm obviously hoping for good embryos that make it to blastocyst in which case all of the options are good. Okay. Maybe I can stop obsessing about this now!!
Thursday, May 5, 2016
Drug Delivery
The box itself didn't look like much....
However, inside the box was a shitload of drugs!!
We've got 4 x 900 Gonal F pens, 7 Orgalutran pre-loaded syringes, an Ovitrelle pen, 3 boxes of Cyclogest pessaries, an amoxicillin pill, and of course the sharps box. My cheese drawer is looking very full at the moment....
No period yet. If it comes tomorrow that's risky because I think my clinic only does egg collections on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. That would mean they may try to collect on day 15 (Friday) which would be earlier than all of my egg freezing cycles, but otherwise would have to wait until day 18 (Monday) which could be too late. If my period comes the day after tomorrow, or the day after that, then they might be going for the Monday collection (day 17 or 16 depending). I'm pretty sure the clinic does embryo transfers on Saturdays, so if I had a Monday collection, I could have the transfer on the Saturday, avoiding the two days (Thursday/Friday) which will be a horrible work conflict. If I have the collection on a Friday, the transfer would be on the Wednesday which would not be ideal because I still have some conflicts, but would also be okay, or at least, way better than the Thursday/Friday conflict. So actually... I might end up alright with the work conflict either way- the only difference would be if they collect on the Monday and if I don't have more than 2 embryos that don't look so great, they could recommend a day 3 transfer which would be on the Thursday. Complicated!! I don't care though. This month is a go, and I'm sort of excited about it. Even though there's no guarantees in all this, I prefer to be taking action than waiting, that's for sure.
However, inside the box was a shitload of drugs!!
We've got 4 x 900 Gonal F pens, 7 Orgalutran pre-loaded syringes, an Ovitrelle pen, 3 boxes of Cyclogest pessaries, an amoxicillin pill, and of course the sharps box. My cheese drawer is looking very full at the moment....
No period yet. If it comes tomorrow that's risky because I think my clinic only does egg collections on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. That would mean they may try to collect on day 15 (Friday) which would be earlier than all of my egg freezing cycles, but otherwise would have to wait until day 18 (Monday) which could be too late. If my period comes the day after tomorrow, or the day after that, then they might be going for the Monday collection (day 17 or 16 depending). I'm pretty sure the clinic does embryo transfers on Saturdays, so if I had a Monday collection, I could have the transfer on the Saturday, avoiding the two days (Thursday/Friday) which will be a horrible work conflict. If I have the collection on a Friday, the transfer would be on the Wednesday which would not be ideal because I still have some conflicts, but would also be okay, or at least, way better than the Thursday/Friday conflict. So actually... I might end up alright with the work conflict either way- the only difference would be if they collect on the Monday and if I don't have more than 2 embryos that don't look so great, they could recommend a day 3 transfer which would be on the Thursday. Complicated!! I don't care though. This month is a go, and I'm sort of excited about it. Even though there's no guarantees in all this, I prefer to be taking action than waiting, that's for sure.
Change of Plans Again, AH!
Good grief!! I just got called by the clinic to tell me that in June they do a major clean of the lab and facilities and shut down. this means I can't cycle in June. However, my frozen eggs are now in Cambridge, my drugs are being delivered today, and, most importantly, my period has yet to arrive. This means I could start this month, like in the next couple of days. Holy crap! Just when I was settling in to having a month off, it's all systems go!
This is great, except for one small thing that I have a serious work conflict on the 26/27 of this month. If I go by my egg collection cycles, my eggs were retrieved on day 16 or 17. If you add 5 or 6 days for blastocyst transfer, this is squarely around the time of the work conflict, but could just miss it. That's going to be the only stressful thing. I suppose the best thing would be for my period to hold off for another couple or few days to put me well past it? Anyway, it's going to be tricky, but I'm definitely not waiting until July.
I'm actually really excited about starting straight away although I was also fine with waiting a month. No more alcohol or caffeine for me though! I suppose it's not great that I've been indulging this month, although not so much, so that's not so terrible.
I'm actually sort of just really excited to be trying this month. I'm going to try not to stress about the scheduling conflict until my period arrives. Speaking of which, maybe I need to go to the bathroom.
This is great, except for one small thing that I have a serious work conflict on the 26/27 of this month. If I go by my egg collection cycles, my eggs were retrieved on day 16 or 17. If you add 5 or 6 days for blastocyst transfer, this is squarely around the time of the work conflict, but could just miss it. That's going to be the only stressful thing. I suppose the best thing would be for my period to hold off for another couple or few days to put me well past it? Anyway, it's going to be tricky, but I'm definitely not waiting until July.
I'm actually really excited about starting straight away although I was also fine with waiting a month. No more alcohol or caffeine for me though! I suppose it's not great that I've been indulging this month, although not so much, so that's not so terrible.
I'm actually sort of just really excited to be trying this month. I'm going to try not to stress about the scheduling conflict until my period arrives. Speaking of which, maybe I need to go to the bathroom.
Thursday, April 28, 2016
Right decision
I am getting more comfortable with my one month delay, or my June cycle as I should probably start thinking about it! Especially since my drugs will not be delivered until next Thursday and my period is likely to start before that. On top of which, the frozen eggs have not yet been moved (although I've just paid for that, budget update below). So, all in all, the right decision for sure. Perhaps because of that, it feels less frustrating. Or maybe I'm just getting used to it.
Budget update:
Not much else to report. I've had to buy some new conception vitamins as my original six month supply is on it's last sheet. I haven't been to acupuncture for a while. Mainly this is because the schedule that they do clinic times and my schedule haven't worked out very well. I'm also not completely convinced that it does much of anything at all. But I may look into starting it up again, or trying a different practitioner. I just feel like I take enough time off work for doctor appointments, I am loathe to take off more time just for acupuncture. Instead I'm going back to yoga, which I also had a small break from. But maybe I'll give acupuncture another go this upcoming month in preparation. I like it, but it just has to fit my schedule at this point.
I'm also trying to take care of some other health issues which means I feel like I'm seriously at various appointments all the time. I've had ongoing issues with my foot from an injury last year which may now be a life-long sort of injury/issue. I'm also trying to get a proper eye test because I think I might need glasses while at work. This has meant trips to GP, hospital, and eye doctor - on top of fertility appointments (for example next week's 'info session' and counseling appointment). Getting old sucks!
I think I'm just going to try to enjoy this month and take care of various things. Last month I took advantage of the break and enjoyed myself by indulging in some naughty treats. I think I'll cut back on my alcohol though. Last month I had a lot of opportunities to drink but I know it's considered good practice while trying to conceive that you lay off alcohol and caffeine. I might as well get back into the groove.
Budget update:
| Previous total | £12378 |
| Courier for frozen eggs | £210 |
| New total | £12588 |
Not much else to report. I've had to buy some new conception vitamins as my original six month supply is on it's last sheet. I haven't been to acupuncture for a while. Mainly this is because the schedule that they do clinic times and my schedule haven't worked out very well. I'm also not completely convinced that it does much of anything at all. But I may look into starting it up again, or trying a different practitioner. I just feel like I take enough time off work for doctor appointments, I am loathe to take off more time just for acupuncture. Instead I'm going back to yoga, which I also had a small break from. But maybe I'll give acupuncture another go this upcoming month in preparation. I like it, but it just has to fit my schedule at this point.
I'm also trying to take care of some other health issues which means I feel like I'm seriously at various appointments all the time. I've had ongoing issues with my foot from an injury last year which may now be a life-long sort of injury/issue. I'm also trying to get a proper eye test because I think I might need glasses while at work. This has meant trips to GP, hospital, and eye doctor - on top of fertility appointments (for example next week's 'info session' and counseling appointment). Getting old sucks!
I think I'm just going to try to enjoy this month and take care of various things. Last month I took advantage of the break and enjoyed myself by indulging in some naughty treats. I think I'll cut back on my alcohol though. Last month I had a lot of opportunities to drink but I know it's considered good practice while trying to conceive that you lay off alcohol and caffeine. I might as well get back into the groove.
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
Hard Choice - 1 Month Delay
Yesterday I found myself increasingly stressing over the variables up in the air regarding this next IVF cycle. I've yet to pay the courier. The drug company hasn't called to arrange delivery. I don't know when my period is going to actually arrive. I have a 3-day residential workshop towards the end of May that would be difficult to be having treatment during.
All of this points to the decision I've made to delay another month. This decision comes with its own variety of stress. However, I think that on balance, I will be much happier knowing that my frozen eggs are already at the Cambridge clinic, that the drugs to start the cycle are already in my fridge and waiting for me, and of course that I have no conflicts in timing in June. Stress is obviously a factor in trying to get pregnant and it is better to eliminate it as much as feasible. I know in the grand scheme of things, this one month really doesn't matter. However, at this stage in the game, every single time something happens it feels like a major setback.
But it isn't. It's okay. And I will have a much smoother cycle because of it.
All of this points to the decision I've made to delay another month. This decision comes with its own variety of stress. However, I think that on balance, I will be much happier knowing that my frozen eggs are already at the Cambridge clinic, that the drugs to start the cycle are already in my fridge and waiting for me, and of course that I have no conflicts in timing in June. Stress is obviously a factor in trying to get pregnant and it is better to eliminate it as much as feasible. I know in the grand scheme of things, this one month really doesn't matter. However, at this stage in the game, every single time something happens it feels like a major setback.
But it isn't. It's okay. And I will have a much smoother cycle because of it.
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