Showing posts with label fertilization. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fertilization. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
Monday, June 6, 2016
IVF 1 - Day 29 6dp6dt
Another day, another negative. I am finding this wait much harder than the IUI wait because I know there was a fertilized embryo there. With IUI you don't know if the sperm ever met the egg, if it fertilized or what. But this is different. And definitely more difficult.
Online reading is unhelpful. A lot of women get early results, so start to see things as early as 9 days past ovulation (or in my case, 3dp6dt, and the first day I tested). On the forum I'm on, this was the case for one of the women who started to see positives pretty fast (4dp5dt). This of course makes me feel particularly negative by comparison. However, my friend who was once pregnant with twins said she only got a super faint line the day she was supposed to test. Although I don't know if that was the first day she tested or the first time she got a positive test. But looking online, it does seem a lot of people still only start to see a positive day 14/15/16 (16 is my official test). I could also look to the fact that everything about my body seems to go slower than average- longer stimulation time, longer embryo development time. So maybe longer hCG buildup time?
Still, the waiting is awful. I'm also not pleased that it's not standard in the UK to do a beta hCG blood test which is apparently completely common in North America for people doing fertility treatments. I can understand not doing it for IUI because the odds are much lower. But with an embryo transfer, you know that something went in. Even if it was an add-on, how much would that blood test cost? I can't believe it would cost very much and I would totally pay for it. Actually I'm going to see if my GP will let me pay for it. I have no idea if you can pay your GP to do a blood test they wouldn't usually cover, but again, how much could that possibly be?
I don't know. My period hasn't arrived either, which would obviously be a big sign. Although this is day 29, and that would be early for my period. My last cycle was particularly late I think. So it's not currently a useful indicator. It's also not clear if the progesterone/Cyclogest might delay your period. I don't think it delays it indefinitely but it could set it back, so again, not helpful.
For the record, I still think in my heart I'm not pregnant, I would just really like to know something for sure so I can move on from this place.
Now I really wish I'd tested out the trigger shot, just to see if those sticks work. I could give in to the madness and go buy a better pregnancy test at lunch. I don't know why I find that a problematic choice when it seems to clearly be what I should go do.
Online reading is unhelpful. A lot of women get early results, so start to see things as early as 9 days past ovulation (or in my case, 3dp6dt, and the first day I tested). On the forum I'm on, this was the case for one of the women who started to see positives pretty fast (4dp5dt). This of course makes me feel particularly negative by comparison. However, my friend who was once pregnant with twins said she only got a super faint line the day she was supposed to test. Although I don't know if that was the first day she tested or the first time she got a positive test. But looking online, it does seem a lot of people still only start to see a positive day 14/15/16 (16 is my official test). I could also look to the fact that everything about my body seems to go slower than average- longer stimulation time, longer embryo development time. So maybe longer hCG buildup time?
Still, the waiting is awful. I'm also not pleased that it's not standard in the UK to do a beta hCG blood test which is apparently completely common in North America for people doing fertility treatments. I can understand not doing it for IUI because the odds are much lower. But with an embryo transfer, you know that something went in. Even if it was an add-on, how much would that blood test cost? I can't believe it would cost very much and I would totally pay for it. Actually I'm going to see if my GP will let me pay for it. I have no idea if you can pay your GP to do a blood test they wouldn't usually cover, but again, how much could that possibly be?
I don't know. My period hasn't arrived either, which would obviously be a big sign. Although this is day 29, and that would be early for my period. My last cycle was particularly late I think. So it's not currently a useful indicator. It's also not clear if the progesterone/Cyclogest might delay your period. I don't think it delays it indefinitely but it could set it back, so again, not helpful.
For the record, I still think in my heart I'm not pregnant, I would just really like to know something for sure so I can move on from this place.
Now I really wish I'd tested out the trigger shot, just to see if those sticks work. I could give in to the madness and go buy a better pregnancy test at lunch. I don't know why I find that a problematic choice when it seems to clearly be what I should go do.
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
IVF 1 - Day 23 6 Day report and transfer
So the good news is that two of the morulas have emerged to be good blastocysts. One is from one of the frozen eggs (the leading blastocyst rated good/very good which is partially emerging/hatching) and the other is from the fresh collection (rated good/good). Two more emerged but have yet to re-inflate so are considered slow growers and perhaps not good for freezing. Two failed to emerge. This means I am going for a transfer today!
When I was speaking to the embryologist this morning she dropped into our conversation something about transferring two. I have been reasonably comfortable with the idea of transferring one. I was a bit surprised that she assumed I would transfer two as my clinic is very much against increasing the risk of multiples and makes a big deal about transferring one. So I am struck with a conundrum. Do I transfer one or two? I can wait until the transfer to decide which is exactly 2 hours away. I texted a good friend of mine who has undergone many many IVF cycles (15?). Her first pregnancy was with twins and it did not end happily. It was a complicated pregnancy (she is tiny) where she delivered prematurely. One of the babies had problems and was in the NICU for months before finally succumbing to his issues. While she's been very aggressive about fertility treatment, she says that she would never suggest to anyone to put back more than one now.
The balance is this - as you get older, your chance of successful live birth go down rapidly due to non-viability issues. If they transfer two, your risk of multiples goes up. Basically you are playing a game with weighing the risk of multiples against increasing your chances for one healthy baby. If you do one at a time, you are looking at financial, time, and emotional costs. If you transfer two, you run the risk of a multiple pregnancy which is higher risk and could result in various complications including increasing your chance of miscarriage. Basically, for women under 38 they only recommend one but as you get older, the viability issue creeps up and up making it balance out to suggest that they are more comfortable with two.
I have the added complication that the leading embryo is not from 41 year old me but from 38 or 39 year old me, so right on the cusp. Maybe if it was two 41 year old embryos, I'd feel differently. But I'm nervous. I do not want twins. I am prepared to raise a single child. I will obviously make due if I get identical twins. But I do not need to do anything to increase my risks of multiples because it would make life incredibly difficult.
So I'm leaning towards the one and freezing the other. The clinic says they have a 90-95% success rate with thawing embryos, so it's very likely that if this one doesn't take I can do a frozen embryo transfer. If that one doesn't take, I can do all of this over again. It's not like I have so many embryos to freeze. We're talking about one frozen embryo transfer before I'd have to start anew if this one doesn't take.
So I think I'm leaning towards transferring the one, but I will definitely talk to the doctor when I'm at the clinic later to make the final decision. I'm not against it if they think it's a very good idea. But I definitely do not want to increase my risk of twins by much at all.
Very excited about the transfer today. Still can't really believe it. Still very nervous that it's just going to be negative results. Trying not to be too hopeful but maintain positivity.
When I was speaking to the embryologist this morning she dropped into our conversation something about transferring two. I have been reasonably comfortable with the idea of transferring one. I was a bit surprised that she assumed I would transfer two as my clinic is very much against increasing the risk of multiples and makes a big deal about transferring one. So I am struck with a conundrum. Do I transfer one or two? I can wait until the transfer to decide which is exactly 2 hours away. I texted a good friend of mine who has undergone many many IVF cycles (15?). Her first pregnancy was with twins and it did not end happily. It was a complicated pregnancy (she is tiny) where she delivered prematurely. One of the babies had problems and was in the NICU for months before finally succumbing to his issues. While she's been very aggressive about fertility treatment, she says that she would never suggest to anyone to put back more than one now.
The balance is this - as you get older, your chance of successful live birth go down rapidly due to non-viability issues. If they transfer two, your risk of multiples goes up. Basically you are playing a game with weighing the risk of multiples against increasing your chances for one healthy baby. If you do one at a time, you are looking at financial, time, and emotional costs. If you transfer two, you run the risk of a multiple pregnancy which is higher risk and could result in various complications including increasing your chance of miscarriage. Basically, for women under 38 they only recommend one but as you get older, the viability issue creeps up and up making it balance out to suggest that they are more comfortable with two.
I have the added complication that the leading embryo is not from 41 year old me but from 38 or 39 year old me, so right on the cusp. Maybe if it was two 41 year old embryos, I'd feel differently. But I'm nervous. I do not want twins. I am prepared to raise a single child. I will obviously make due if I get identical twins. But I do not need to do anything to increase my risks of multiples because it would make life incredibly difficult.
So I'm leaning towards the one and freezing the other. The clinic says they have a 90-95% success rate with thawing embryos, so it's very likely that if this one doesn't take I can do a frozen embryo transfer. If that one doesn't take, I can do all of this over again. It's not like I have so many embryos to freeze. We're talking about one frozen embryo transfer before I'd have to start anew if this one doesn't take.
So I think I'm leaning towards transferring the one, but I will definitely talk to the doctor when I'm at the clinic later to make the final decision. I'm not against it if they think it's a very good idea. But I definitely do not want to increase my risk of twins by much at all.
Very excited about the transfer today. Still can't really believe it. Still very nervous that it's just going to be negative results. Trying not to be too hopeful but maintain positivity.
Monday, May 30, 2016
IVF 1 - Day 22 5 day report
The short version: the transfer will hopefully be tomorrow, another day of waiting ahead.
The longer version:
So this morning I was waiting for the phone call. It didn't come at 9am so I started to get nervous. I think the phone finally rant around 9:30. It seemed like forever. I was particularly feeling anxious because another woman on the SMC forum who was trying this month had 6 day 3 embryos that all arrested on day 4. So I knew that this could happen, and I was worried I was going to get a call that said there was nothing to come in for.
The embryologist called to tell me that all six zygotes were successfully given laser assisted hatcing on Saturday, and all six have transformed into morulas. A morula is a transformational stage where the embryo moves from a collection of equal cells to differentiated cells. Not all embryos emerge out of the morula stage, so it could still be that tomorrow there is nothing. The embryologist was cautiously hopeful though that all 6 made it to morula stage; he said that he didn't expect them all to reach even that far. So it's not great, because it means they're all a bit slow, but it's also not bad. Yet. So, more waiting.
This weekend I've been feeling somewhat emotional. I don't know if it's due to hormones or what. My friend came to visit Saturday/Sunday and brought her 22 month old son. We had a good time, and I enjoyed having them here but I started to wonder what I'm getting myself into. On the one hand it all seems reasonable, and then on the other hand it's completely overwhelming and terrifying. I know that it is probably overwhelming and terrifying for everyone who has a child, single parent or no. Still, I just felt emotional about it. Am I really prepared for this? Am I really capable of doing it? I think these fears are normal. I'm not overly worried about it, I just had a surge for some reason.
I also think that I might enjoy the baby stage, and I may enjoy post potty training, but I may not love the toddler stage. I could be wrong. And I assume everything is always different when it's your kid. It's one thing to have a strange child in my home getting into everything versus a child who lives here who is used to my home and for whom the home is properly arranged. I mean, your own kids for sure get into everything, but your life shapes around their presence in it. Dropping a child into your life is a little bit different.
I think I've also been a bit grumpy because I think the Cyclogest/progesterone is making me have swelling and itching in the privates. Really not enjoying that. The swelling has gone down a bit, but the itching flares back up. I read online that this can be a side effect, especially for women taking it vaginally. I'm not, but I'm sure it's related. Some of the online posters suggested getting some Canesten cream for the itch. If I'm lucky enough to have a transfer tomorrow, then I think I'll also ask about this.
So that's where things are. I'm feeling anxious. I will know what's happening soon enough by way of the transfer at least, and then I'll have to wait to see if I'm pregnant. And if I'm pregnant, I'll be waiting to see if I can get through the benchmarks without a miscarriage. I'm not sure anyone ever talks about this stage of trying to get pregnant or pregnancy. I'll be posting everything here, which includes if things go badly. I'm positive not enough women talk about this and by the time they announce they're pregnant, they've just kept all this to themselves. That's just not my style I guess.
The longer version:
So this morning I was waiting for the phone call. It didn't come at 9am so I started to get nervous. I think the phone finally rant around 9:30. It seemed like forever. I was particularly feeling anxious because another woman on the SMC forum who was trying this month had 6 day 3 embryos that all arrested on day 4. So I knew that this could happen, and I was worried I was going to get a call that said there was nothing to come in for.
The embryologist called to tell me that all six zygotes were successfully given laser assisted hatcing on Saturday, and all six have transformed into morulas. A morula is a transformational stage where the embryo moves from a collection of equal cells to differentiated cells. Not all embryos emerge out of the morula stage, so it could still be that tomorrow there is nothing. The embryologist was cautiously hopeful though that all 6 made it to morula stage; he said that he didn't expect them all to reach even that far. So it's not great, because it means they're all a bit slow, but it's also not bad. Yet. So, more waiting.
This weekend I've been feeling somewhat emotional. I don't know if it's due to hormones or what. My friend came to visit Saturday/Sunday and brought her 22 month old son. We had a good time, and I enjoyed having them here but I started to wonder what I'm getting myself into. On the one hand it all seems reasonable, and then on the other hand it's completely overwhelming and terrifying. I know that it is probably overwhelming and terrifying for everyone who has a child, single parent or no. Still, I just felt emotional about it. Am I really prepared for this? Am I really capable of doing it? I think these fears are normal. I'm not overly worried about it, I just had a surge for some reason.
I also think that I might enjoy the baby stage, and I may enjoy post potty training, but I may not love the toddler stage. I could be wrong. And I assume everything is always different when it's your kid. It's one thing to have a strange child in my home getting into everything versus a child who lives here who is used to my home and for whom the home is properly arranged. I mean, your own kids for sure get into everything, but your life shapes around their presence in it. Dropping a child into your life is a little bit different.
I think I've also been a bit grumpy because I think the Cyclogest/progesterone is making me have swelling and itching in the privates. Really not enjoying that. The swelling has gone down a bit, but the itching flares back up. I read online that this can be a side effect, especially for women taking it vaginally. I'm not, but I'm sure it's related. Some of the online posters suggested getting some Canesten cream for the itch. If I'm lucky enough to have a transfer tomorrow, then I think I'll also ask about this.
So that's where things are. I'm feeling anxious. I will know what's happening soon enough by way of the transfer at least, and then I'll have to wait to see if I'm pregnant. And if I'm pregnant, I'll be waiting to see if I can get through the benchmarks without a miscarriage. I'm not sure anyone ever talks about this stage of trying to get pregnant or pregnancy. I'll be posting everything here, which includes if things go badly. I'm positive not enough women talk about this and by the time they announce they're pregnant, they've just kept all this to themselves. That's just not my style I guess.
Saturday, May 28, 2016
IVF 1 - Day 20 3 day report
The embryologist called me this morning to report that I have 6, 3-day embryos. One of the fertilized seven seems to have stopped after a two cell split and isn't expect to go any further. Of the 6, four are very good and two are good. Interestingly, from the thawed frozen eggs, the best looking 3-day embryo is one of the frozen, but the one that stopped after dividing is the other.
I discussed with the embryologist that we will wait until day 5 for a hopeful transfer. He warned me that from these 6, I would be looking at 2-3 blastocysts comfortably, and that 4 would be an exceptional outcome. Fingers crossed there is at least one.
I plan to transfer one blastocyst if I'm lucky enough to have more than one. I really don't want multiples. If it happens on its own, that's one thing, but I don't want to increase my chances by transferring two.
The laser assisted hatching will be done later today on all of the embryos. The embryologist told me that if you do it on day 5 you risk injuring the blastocyst. On day 3, the shell or zona pellucida is still thick and easy to nick with the laser. It thins towards day 5 so becomes more difficult. It seems a fairly routine procedure so I'm not too worried about anything going wrong. Also, I asked, and it's completely fine and normal to freeze a blastocyst which has already had the assisted hatching. I'm glad they said they'd cap the cost at £250 now!! Otherwise that would have been £125 per embryo. I would have spent it of course, but I'm glad for the discount with 6 to do.
I've been feeling pretty bloated and a bit crampy since the egg retrieval. Looking online, this could also be due to starting the progesterone/Cyclogest. I'm not loving that I've got to take a suppository twice a day for what I hope is something like the next 10 weeks. I'll do it obviously, I'm just not loving it. And I hope the bloating and cramps reduce.
I'm sort of amazed when I think about it- that eggs from my body have been fertilized with sperm and there is potential life in a petri dish at the clinic. It's actually sort of hard to get my head around. You spend so long focusing on trying to conceive, it's hard to imagine the jump to the next step. I'm not there yet of course, and all of this may not work and could go horribly wrong. But a thread of me is still pretty hopeful and giddy with anticipation.
I discussed with the embryologist that we will wait until day 5 for a hopeful transfer. He warned me that from these 6, I would be looking at 2-3 blastocysts comfortably, and that 4 would be an exceptional outcome. Fingers crossed there is at least one.
I plan to transfer one blastocyst if I'm lucky enough to have more than one. I really don't want multiples. If it happens on its own, that's one thing, but I don't want to increase my chances by transferring two.
The laser assisted hatching will be done later today on all of the embryos. The embryologist told me that if you do it on day 5 you risk injuring the blastocyst. On day 3, the shell or zona pellucida is still thick and easy to nick with the laser. It thins towards day 5 so becomes more difficult. It seems a fairly routine procedure so I'm not too worried about anything going wrong. Also, I asked, and it's completely fine and normal to freeze a blastocyst which has already had the assisted hatching. I'm glad they said they'd cap the cost at £250 now!! Otherwise that would have been £125 per embryo. I would have spent it of course, but I'm glad for the discount with 6 to do.
I've been feeling pretty bloated and a bit crampy since the egg retrieval. Looking online, this could also be due to starting the progesterone/Cyclogest. I'm not loving that I've got to take a suppository twice a day for what I hope is something like the next 10 weeks. I'll do it obviously, I'm just not loving it. And I hope the bloating and cramps reduce.
I'm sort of amazed when I think about it- that eggs from my body have been fertilized with sperm and there is potential life in a petri dish at the clinic. It's actually sort of hard to get my head around. You spend so long focusing on trying to conceive, it's hard to imagine the jump to the next step. I'm not there yet of course, and all of this may not work and could go horribly wrong. But a thread of me is still pretty hopeful and giddy with anticipation.
Thursday, May 26, 2016
IVF 1 - Day 18 fertility report
I'm at my workshop this morning, so no time for a long post. 5 of the 8 injected fresh eggs appear to have fertilized this morning, with another that may or may not (likely not) have fertilized. Both of the frozen eggs that made it through and were injected with sperm have fertilized. So 7 definite fertilized eggs from the 10 that got injected. The embryologist said this was a good result as their clinic results for fertilization is 60-65% so I'm a bit higher. Now, no news until Saturday where it will either be a 3-day transfer or a hold for day 5. At least I have the workshop to keep me busy!! Oh yeah, and I've started cyclogest/progesterone suppositories this morning and will be taking them every 12 hours for a while.
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