Budget Update

If this pregnancy is successful, then I can put a figure on my total budget spent trying to conceive and become a mother.  Of course my future is filled with expenses related to raising a child which will be no small thing and occasionally causes me much stress to think about.  There may also be additional expenses related to pregnancy and birth - for example, if I hire a doula.  But again, these are optional and sort of different from the trying to conceive journey.

Of course everything could still go terribly wrong and I could be revisiting this budget in the future. For now though, the final budget on trying to become a single mother is:

Previous total	£12856
Hatching and Vitrification	£850
New total	£13706

It's probably important to note that the above total doesn't include the egg freezing total which was £13,591.  this is because the little growing seed is from that, so it would be wrong not to include those costs in my total total costs.  Therefore, if you really want a final grand total to get to today, it would be £27,297.  

Kind of scary.  

Completely worth it.

IVF 1 - Day 17 update

Early this afternoon my phone rang from an unlisted number.  My phone was not supposed to ring today.  I knew instantly that it was the clinic and something was wrong.  The head embryologist whom I had spoken to in recovery immediately told me that while it wasn't catastrophic, it also wasn't a good call.  Basically, out of my 6 frozen eggs, only 2 properly defrosted.  3 completely failed to reform, and 1 seemed to be okay, but then collapsed.  The 2 that defrosted properly were completely fine and able to have ICSI on them.  Out of the 9 fresh eggs collected, 8 were able to have ICSI on them.  So in total, they were able to inject 10 eggs with sperm.  Not catastrophic, but also not the best news.  In particular because the younger eggs should have a higher chance of better quality.  I'm still beyond thrilled to have had such a great fresh cycle, but the risks of chromosomal abnormalities is much greater, and increases every year.

So I'm not devastated or even particularly upset, but I'm now much more wary of the next hurdles that need to be passed.  Tomorrow around 10am I will get a call to let me know how many have actually fertilized as they will check for the double nucleus and for the ejected waste material from the cells.  I have no idea what the attrition rate will be for this next hurdle.  Assuming that some make it past tomorrow's hurdle, they won't look at them again until Saturday and decide then if it will be a 3 day or 5 day transfer.

If I end up with nothing at all to transfer, I will absolutely be devastated.  But we aren't there yet.  The embryologist was still pleased that we have 10 injected eggs.  To be fair, as I was only expecting a collection of 5, I've ended up with a similar number as I'd hoped, it's just that the majority are fresh instead of a 50/50 split.

It's also I suppose worrying for women who freeze their eggs as this is not a good outcome.  I expected 5 out of the 6 to defrost properly and thought I'd lose 1, not 4.  It's also interesting because I asked them to take 2 eggs from each of my 3 egg freezing cycles.  Interesting because the 2 that defrosted well and were healthy came from the same cycle.  2 that completely failed came from the same cycle and the other 2 with the partial came from the same cycle.  This could suggest there was a problem with the freezing.  The embryologist mentioned that on one of them it was difficult to remove the eggs from the 'plate' that they are frozen to.  I went to a very reputable clinic, so I don't think they intentionally screwed up, but it does go to show how tricky this process is.  Also, it was 3 years ago, and you would hope that techniques continue to improve.

So okay.  10 injected healthy eggs.  That's a good result so far - 8 fresh, 2 from frozen.  Tomorrow is another day and another phone call.

IVF 1 - Day 8 First scan of the cycle

I had my first scan today on day 8 of my cycle (day 7 by stimulation days).  I managed to get completely confused about when the appointment was based on how I put it in my diary which meant I showed up at 9:30 for a 9:00am appointment.  Luckily this was no problem at all and they saw me pretty much straight away.  It took the nurse two tries to get blood out of my arms.  I've decided that I think this blood issue is related to the 15 minute cycle ride I take to get to the clinic.  Typically if I've been cycling for over 10 minutes, my hands start to go numb and feel like I'm having circulation problems.  Because the first thing they do at the clinic is the blood draw, I think the problem with getting blood out is related to this.  I suggested next time they do it after the scan, we'll see if that helps.

So anyway, the scan was fine.  The nurse who did it had a little bit of trouble with their new equipment because it wouldn't get to where she could tag the follicles.  This meant I had the wand in me for a while until she managed to reboot the machine and finally get it it to work.  It also means though I got a pretty good look at the ovary.  So far so good.  The Gonal F is clearly working even though I'm not feeling anything yet.  I had around 7 follicles that were all 9.5-10.5mm, so that was great.  The ideal is for them all to be around the same size and they generally were.  It was clear at that magnification which ones were slightly bigger, but anyway, that was good, and there's still pretty much the rest of this week to go and for things to continue to grow and change.  In addition, my uterine lining also looked good.  The nurse was very positive and pleased, so that made me happy.

Of course I don't want to get my hopes up too high because in the last two of my egg freezing cycles, I had I think 9 and then 7 follicles and then only got 4 and then 3 mature eggs.  So even though seven sounds exciting, I'm trying to preparing for a low return.

My next scan is on Wednesday, and then I've already got one scheduled for Friday.  By Friday it should be clear if I'm coming in for a scan on Monday or if  I trigger or what.  I'm still thinking that based on previous egg freezing cycles that my egg retrieval will be next Wednesday, but we'll see.  I did ask this morning about this process as they require someone to take you home and stay with you (for 24 hours - or anyway that's what they say).  A friend of mine has offered to collect me in her car and stay with me for the afternoon, but she can't come until noon give or take.  However, I saw in the reading they gave me that they want the person who is going to take you home to be there from the start.  Well that's crazy- I can't just have random friends taking all day off work to sit around for a few hours while I have a procedure!!  It's hard enough to get people to be able to take time off to collect me at the right time!  This is for sure one of those times where I get very frustrated with the single mother element, and I also was frustrated during the egg freezing process.  Having been looking at doulas recently, I wonder if this isn't a service they should maybe consider starting to offer.  I'll deal with it, but it's annoying.  And now I have to wait to find out if I need someone there 'all day' or if someone can just come at the end.  I don't want to ask the boyfriend as I think it will upset him. Also, he doesn't have a car, so I'd have to book a taxi at which point I get annoyed about why I have to have anyone with me to begin with.  But I will work it out.

In other news I was at a dinner on Saturday night with some of my students who were graduating this weekend.  I had 1/4 a glass of wine.  I'm not going to kill myself over this.  I've been very good at taking all of my vitamins and morning pills, etc.  1/4 glass of wine is not going to make a difference!

Oh yeah, and I've started taking the Ogalutran which is Ganirelex (which I didn't know) in the morning.  I like that it comes in pre-filled syringes unlike the Cetrotide I had to mix and took during the egg freezing cycles.  However, it stings a bit after injecting it which I don't like as much.  For some reason the shots this cycle have all been more bothersome and often quite pokey.  Occasionally I get one in where I really can't feel it, but more often than not they feel pretty sharp.  Annoying!

Anyway, next update  Wednesday I imagine.