I've had my first midwife appointment which was fine. It took some time, as there seemed to be a lot of information to enter into the system. I would say the meeting was mostly procedural. There wasn't necessarily any new information from this meeting. She went over with me what vitamins I should be taking, what I should and shouldn't be eating, that I should be exercising but not adding new hardcore routines. I brought along a printout of the donor profile so I could answer any questions about 'the other side' which was useful. We touched briefly on where I might want to give birth, and who might be in the room with me. I don't know yet enough about my pregnancy to make any decisions about where to give birth, although I know I really don't want to do it at home. I think I will be too high risk for that anyway, but it otherwise it really doesn't interest me. The birth center is literally attached to the delivery hospital (same building) so you can always start off in the birth center and be quickly transferred if needed, which seems reasonable. But I'll find out more about how it works later in the pregnancy. We also discussed my relationship with the boyfriend and she agreed that a doula is probably a good idea for me, even if the boyfriend decides he wants to be involved. So that was good to talk about albeit briefly.
Part of the meeting was clearly to assess risk factors. Because of my age (almost 42) and my weight (BMI 34.5) and my history of an abdominal surgery (ovary removal) this puts me at various risks for various things. So one of the things she set me up with was a meeting with an obstetrician. I guess in the UK you don't meet with an obstetrician regularly unless you are high risk. So I'll go to be assessed and either they'll continue to want to see me or they'll release me back to my midwife team/GP. I may also have an extra scan due to my age. I'm also at a higher risk for pre-eclampsia so I'll need to start taking a daily baby aspirin at 12 weeks.
But basically that was all fine. The next steps are that I scheduled a blood test for Thursday and I need to also provide a urine sample (in the smallest urine pot known to man I might add). I am now expecting 3 letters: a welcome from the midwife detailing our discussion and baby aspirin stuff; an appointment letter for my 12 week scan at the hospital which includes a permission form for the Nuchal screening; and, an appointment letter for a meeting with the obstetrician. I've also confirmed that they don't do NIPT yet, so I'm going to schedule that next week. The midwife told me about another Cambridge based private clinic that offers it, but it's cheaper at the one I found already, so I think I'll stick to that. I think I'll also go for the Serenity Plus test over the Harmony. I don't think it makes very much difference at all, except I think I'll get the Serenity results quicker.
Oh, and I also asked about the Cyclogest/progesterone because I'm down to just a few days left. The midwife said I needed to call the IVF clinic to ask how long I should be on it, so I called them when I got back and had a very nice chat with one of the nurses who was there throughout my procedures. She said they normally would end around 7 weeks, and they're happy for it to stop at 9 weeks. She said it's up to me if I stop cold turkey or reduce then taper but it shouldn't make any difference at this point. So I think I will do a full dose tomorrow which is officially 9 weeks if you follow the retrieval/fertilization date. Then I will drop to one a day until I run out and I might every other day the last one or two. So that's one bit of good news that I don't have to be sticking things up my bottom twice a day very soon!
In other news, another woman on the forum in my group has miscarried which is just awful. I was hoping that we would not be the standard statistic as a group and yet we have reached it. And there could still yet be more. It's so heartbreaking. I try to stick to my mantra but am well aware there are still some big hurdles to get past. The NIPT and the 12 week scan being the big ones. I know that there is nothing I can do. What is going to happen is going to happen. The not knowing can be just so hard though.
Showing posts with label vitamins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vitamins. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 12, 2016
Monday, June 20, 2016
26dpo 6w1d - Appointments
I saw my GP this morning. It was a relatively short appointment but now I'm properly 'in the system'. There isn't much for the GP to do- apparently with the NHS most of your care is through midwife appointments; and there are about 10 throughout your pregnancy he said. So I made my first appointment for the 12th as that was the earliest that would work. Perhaps a week later than desired. I also received a 'pregnancy' pack which I haven't had a chance to look through properly but is sponsored by Bounty so there are some branded things in it. I glanced inside and saw a sample pack of pregnancy vitamins so that's cool as those are pricey. I ordered some extra folic acid for the next couple of months, although it's in the multivitamin, I'm overweight so not bad to take more. The GP took my blood pressure which was fine. The lower number runs towards the high end but I think it was 124/85 so that's within normal.
I told my GP the results of my hCG blood tests and he mentioned that the numbers were on the low side but of course early. Which of course made me twinge with worry. The numbers doubled- which is what they say is more important than the actual number. And yes, they were low in the sense that it was 14dpo and 16dpo. I am consoled that my pregnancy tests got progressively darker and stronger meaning hCG was rising. But anyway, blah.
Today I'm feeling twinges in the gut/tummy/uterus region and of course I'm trying not to worry about it or think about it too much. I want everything to go smoothly, obviously, but I am also unable not to worry that it won't. On the forum that I frequent there appears to always be at least 2 women who miscarry within each 3 month group. So it's a rather gruesome game of Russian roulette. Of course none of us may miscarry- which would be awesome of course. But looking through the history of the pregnancy boards, there seems to always be at least 2. So that's sobering. (Apologies to those of you from the board who may have read this and found it upsetting).
A woman in my three month group posted about her anxiety levels around the pregnancy. I don't think it's possible to be pregnant and not worry, I guess it's how you process your worrying that makes a difference. The only thing I can console myself with right now is that there is nothing I can do to change anything. The future is already written- I just don't know it yet. Will I miscarry? Is this ectopic? Will there be a chromosomal abnormality? So many things that you could worry about it. But worrying about them doesn't change anything at all. If bad shit happens, I will deal with it and get through it because I have to. And I know I can, because I am a strong person and I have a network of friends and family who love me. I can't change what that future will be. I just don't know what it is yet. And that's scary and frustrating and stressful. But really I need to just be patient and wait. Take each day, each moment for what it is. I can't change the future, so I can only be present in the now. Anyway, that's how I try to get through the stress and worry. Of course not entirely helpful when you are second guessing every twinge!
In other news I told my dad last night that I was pregnant. He hasn't been the most on board with the pregnancy plan but was surprisingly supportive. Of course he was supportive in the way that my dad is able to be supportive- mainly by indicating how he would be able to provide some financial support to a child of mine. But hey, financial support is really important. And for my dad, being able to take care of someone (financially) is how he shows that he loves them. So that was nice. This isn't to say that my dad will foot all the baby bills for everything. In fact, far from it. But anyway, it was nice to feel supported.
I told my GP the results of my hCG blood tests and he mentioned that the numbers were on the low side but of course early. Which of course made me twinge with worry. The numbers doubled- which is what they say is more important than the actual number. And yes, they were low in the sense that it was 14dpo and 16dpo. I am consoled that my pregnancy tests got progressively darker and stronger meaning hCG was rising. But anyway, blah.
Today I'm feeling twinges in the gut/tummy/uterus region and of course I'm trying not to worry about it or think about it too much. I want everything to go smoothly, obviously, but I am also unable not to worry that it won't. On the forum that I frequent there appears to always be at least 2 women who miscarry within each 3 month group. So it's a rather gruesome game of Russian roulette. Of course none of us may miscarry- which would be awesome of course. But looking through the history of the pregnancy boards, there seems to always be at least 2. So that's sobering. (Apologies to those of you from the board who may have read this and found it upsetting).
A woman in my three month group posted about her anxiety levels around the pregnancy. I don't think it's possible to be pregnant and not worry, I guess it's how you process your worrying that makes a difference. The only thing I can console myself with right now is that there is nothing I can do to change anything. The future is already written- I just don't know it yet. Will I miscarry? Is this ectopic? Will there be a chromosomal abnormality? So many things that you could worry about it. But worrying about them doesn't change anything at all. If bad shit happens, I will deal with it and get through it because I have to. And I know I can, because I am a strong person and I have a network of friends and family who love me. I can't change what that future will be. I just don't know what it is yet. And that's scary and frustrating and stressful. But really I need to just be patient and wait. Take each day, each moment for what it is. I can't change the future, so I can only be present in the now. Anyway, that's how I try to get through the stress and worry. Of course not entirely helpful when you are second guessing every twinge!
In other news I told my dad last night that I was pregnant. He hasn't been the most on board with the pregnancy plan but was surprisingly supportive. Of course he was supportive in the way that my dad is able to be supportive- mainly by indicating how he would be able to provide some financial support to a child of mine. But hey, financial support is really important. And for my dad, being able to take care of someone (financially) is how he shows that he loves them. So that was nice. This isn't to say that my dad will foot all the baby bills for everything. In fact, far from it. But anyway, it was nice to feel supported.
Thursday, April 28, 2016
Right decision
I am getting more comfortable with my one month delay, or my June cycle as I should probably start thinking about it! Especially since my drugs will not be delivered until next Thursday and my period is likely to start before that. On top of which, the frozen eggs have not yet been moved (although I've just paid for that, budget update below). So, all in all, the right decision for sure. Perhaps because of that, it feels less frustrating. Or maybe I'm just getting used to it.
Budget update:
Not much else to report. I've had to buy some new conception vitamins as my original six month supply is on it's last sheet. I haven't been to acupuncture for a while. Mainly this is because the schedule that they do clinic times and my schedule haven't worked out very well. I'm also not completely convinced that it does much of anything at all. But I may look into starting it up again, or trying a different practitioner. I just feel like I take enough time off work for doctor appointments, I am loathe to take off more time just for acupuncture. Instead I'm going back to yoga, which I also had a small break from. But maybe I'll give acupuncture another go this upcoming month in preparation. I like it, but it just has to fit my schedule at this point.
I'm also trying to take care of some other health issues which means I feel like I'm seriously at various appointments all the time. I've had ongoing issues with my foot from an injury last year which may now be a life-long sort of injury/issue. I'm also trying to get a proper eye test because I think I might need glasses while at work. This has meant trips to GP, hospital, and eye doctor - on top of fertility appointments (for example next week's 'info session' and counseling appointment). Getting old sucks!
I think I'm just going to try to enjoy this month and take care of various things. Last month I took advantage of the break and enjoyed myself by indulging in some naughty treats. I think I'll cut back on my alcohol though. Last month I had a lot of opportunities to drink but I know it's considered good practice while trying to conceive that you lay off alcohol and caffeine. I might as well get back into the groove.
Budget update:
| Previous total | £12378 |
| Courier for frozen eggs | £210 |
| New total | £12588 |
Not much else to report. I've had to buy some new conception vitamins as my original six month supply is on it's last sheet. I haven't been to acupuncture for a while. Mainly this is because the schedule that they do clinic times and my schedule haven't worked out very well. I'm also not completely convinced that it does much of anything at all. But I may look into starting it up again, or trying a different practitioner. I just feel like I take enough time off work for doctor appointments, I am loathe to take off more time just for acupuncture. Instead I'm going back to yoga, which I also had a small break from. But maybe I'll give acupuncture another go this upcoming month in preparation. I like it, but it just has to fit my schedule at this point.
I'm also trying to take care of some other health issues which means I feel like I'm seriously at various appointments all the time. I've had ongoing issues with my foot from an injury last year which may now be a life-long sort of injury/issue. I'm also trying to get a proper eye test because I think I might need glasses while at work. This has meant trips to GP, hospital, and eye doctor - on top of fertility appointments (for example next week's 'info session' and counseling appointment). Getting old sucks!
I think I'm just going to try to enjoy this month and take care of various things. Last month I took advantage of the break and enjoyed myself by indulging in some naughty treats. I think I'll cut back on my alcohol though. Last month I had a lot of opportunities to drink but I know it's considered good practice while trying to conceive that you lay off alcohol and caffeine. I might as well get back into the groove.
Sunday, March 13, 2016
One Cycle Ends, Another Begins
So I took the clinic pregnancy test on Friday and it was negative. Additionally, my period basically started on the Thursday night, so cycle one was unsuccessful. On the plus side, with my period not starting until Friday really, this was perfect timing to start the new cycle.
I called my clinic on Friday morning because they ask you to report the result of the pregnancy test, plus, I wanted to immediately get going on IUI 2. This would require me to order the drugs so they are ready for me on Monday. Unfortunately, no one answered the phone at my clinic and I was forced to leave a message detailing the result of the pregnancy test, and my intentions to start cycle 2. By 3pm, no one had called me back and I was about to go into a 2-hour meeting which meant I couldn't get in touch with them until Monday. So with 5 minutes to my meeting I managed to get through and schedule a scan for Monday morning. However, there wasn't enough time to get the drug order sorted. The nurse indicated I would be able to buy the Gonal-F at the clinic on Monday. I really hope this is the case and it's not somehow more expensive for the inconvenience. Because it's not my fault they were too busy to get to their phone messages.
In the meantime, I've recently read It Starts with the Egg which was recommended on some of the forums I'm now frequenting. It was an interesting read and has made me think about making a few changes to my current routine. I was already taking conception vitamins but I think I'm going to add some CoQ10 to my routine. I'm also looking at replacing some of the plastic food storage containers I use with glass to help reduce my exposure to BPA. I figure that these are things I can do relatively easily, and that are not going to hurt me. Similar to acupuncture. There is a lot of discussion online about DHEA and in this instance I would not start taking it without my clinic's approval and probably some testing.
So how am I feeling with one failed cycle? Disappointed of course. Although I started to address that as my negative pregnancy tests kept coming in so that the final one wasn't such a shock. Maybe a little bit panicked based on how much money I have and how long I feel I can realistically give this a try. I found myself thinking I should go straight to the frozen eggs and stop fucking around. I'm pretty sure this was a direct response to feeling like it's just not going to work with my current 'old' eggs due to this cycle not working. But those eggs are not going anywhere and my current eggs could work. I think I need to try one more IUI as planned, and then one fresh IVF and then see how all that goes. If the clinic suggests going to the frozen at that point, then fine. But it won't be a knee-jerk reaction to things not going as desired.
It's entirely possible that this is going to be an expensive year that doesn't result in a baby at all. But it's far too early in the process to be thinking that way. One failed IUI which only had a 6% success rate is not the thing to be basing the entire journey on. And hey, based on my very poor understanding of how to add odds, by doing two IUI, each at a 6% success rate, the chance of one of them working is 12%, so that's a bit more hopeful for the second one, huh?
I called my clinic on Friday morning because they ask you to report the result of the pregnancy test, plus, I wanted to immediately get going on IUI 2. This would require me to order the drugs so they are ready for me on Monday. Unfortunately, no one answered the phone at my clinic and I was forced to leave a message detailing the result of the pregnancy test, and my intentions to start cycle 2. By 3pm, no one had called me back and I was about to go into a 2-hour meeting which meant I couldn't get in touch with them until Monday. So with 5 minutes to my meeting I managed to get through and schedule a scan for Monday morning. However, there wasn't enough time to get the drug order sorted. The nurse indicated I would be able to buy the Gonal-F at the clinic on Monday. I really hope this is the case and it's not somehow more expensive for the inconvenience. Because it's not my fault they were too busy to get to their phone messages.
In the meantime, I've recently read It Starts with the Egg which was recommended on some of the forums I'm now frequenting. It was an interesting read and has made me think about making a few changes to my current routine. I was already taking conception vitamins but I think I'm going to add some CoQ10 to my routine. I'm also looking at replacing some of the plastic food storage containers I use with glass to help reduce my exposure to BPA. I figure that these are things I can do relatively easily, and that are not going to hurt me. Similar to acupuncture. There is a lot of discussion online about DHEA and in this instance I would not start taking it without my clinic's approval and probably some testing.
So how am I feeling with one failed cycle? Disappointed of course. Although I started to address that as my negative pregnancy tests kept coming in so that the final one wasn't such a shock. Maybe a little bit panicked based on how much money I have and how long I feel I can realistically give this a try. I found myself thinking I should go straight to the frozen eggs and stop fucking around. I'm pretty sure this was a direct response to feeling like it's just not going to work with my current 'old' eggs due to this cycle not working. But those eggs are not going anywhere and my current eggs could work. I think I need to try one more IUI as planned, and then one fresh IVF and then see how all that goes. If the clinic suggests going to the frozen at that point, then fine. But it won't be a knee-jerk reaction to things not going as desired.
It's entirely possible that this is going to be an expensive year that doesn't result in a baby at all. But it's far too early in the process to be thinking that way. One failed IUI which only had a 6% success rate is not the thing to be basing the entire journey on. And hey, based on my very poor understanding of how to add odds, by doing two IUI, each at a 6% success rate, the chance of one of them working is 12%, so that's a bit more hopeful for the second one, huh?
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
TWW 1 - Day 7 and flu is a great distraction
So it's one week today from my IUI and I'm at home for the second day after coming down with some sort of horrid flu/cold on Saturday which has completely taken me out of commission. Of course my very first problem was that I was not able to turn to my trusted drugs of choice. In fact I was convinced I could take no drugs at all and I wasn't in a good enough state to do any google research. Just looking at my phone was difficult. So I sweated it out with a reasonably high fever for a day and a half. Then I managed to text/talk to a good friend who has done numerous fertility treatments and is well versed in all things pregnancy. She said I could take some Tylenol. So I started taking half dose Tylenol which I think helped a little. But still, I've been so sick that I'm not at work.
I think I'll go tomorrow, but instead of cycling in I might take a taxi. Especially if it's still raining like it is today. Part of the reason is that I have a progesterone test scheduled with my GP to ensure ovulation occurred. I mean, I took a trigger shot, so there's no real reason to think ovulation didn't occur. But that's fine. It's a good excuse to go back to work.
I will say that being dreadfully ill was a good way not to obsess about whether I might be pregnant or not. It was also a good way to lose half a stone in two days from barely eating. I wouldn't say I'd recommend it in principle.
Of course now that I'm feeling better I'm convinced that I can't possibly be pregnant. I don't feel anything, or rather, I'm feeling the after effects of having been ill and I don't notice anything that might be a pregnancy feeling. Two people who knew that I was trying this cycle gently asked if it might be morning sickness. All I have to say is, that if morning sickness was anything like that, no one would get pregnant ever. Seriously. But no. My landlords are here and they both got sick one after the other and then me. The virus took us out one at a time but it was clearly that and not anything else.
Then of course I also worry that having gotten sick in this critical time it would ruin any chance of actually getting pregnant or somehow interfere. Not there there would have been anything I could have done otherwise. I did manage to drag myself to acupuncture on Saturday, which could have been a mistake. But I wanted to complete the treatment for this cycle. My acupuncturist was very positive about my pregnancy chances, but then what is she going to say? She also said that lots of women get colds and flues when pregnant which I do think I've read a bit about so maybe although it's miserable for me it doesn't have much to do with the pregnancy chances. At any rate, my feelings on acupuncture are still much the same in that I'm not convinced it really does anything, but I know it doesn't hurt me. So it's fine to add it to the mix. I guess the thing is, right now I'm sort of sure I'm not pregnant. But I do have an entire other week of waiting.
When I was sick I wasn't really eating so I wasn't taking my per-conception vitamins but I've managed to get back on that today. I'm sure that 3 days missed is not going to be the end of the world. Especially as I'd been good about taking them somewhat regularly. When I go back to work there should be a delivery of some pregnancy tests that I ordered online. The clinic only gave me one which they want me to do on the 11th even though my period is due on the 9th. From some of my internet reading it suggests you could start testing a bit earlier and I'm not sure I can wait all that long. So I bought some tests to give me the option. This will also let me 'save' the one the clinic gave me for the right day without the urge to use it sooner.
I think I've had some new readers stop by from the Donor Conception Network single women's mailer. If so, welcome and do feel free to start up a dialogue on the comments. I've really only just started engaging with forums although I've been thinking about this and reading up on it for some time. I've learned some interesting things from the SMC forums related to donor sperm which perhaps would have been useful before I made my choice, but then again, maybe not. I might reflect on that in a later post.
Meanwhile, I'm off to make more lemon/ginger/honey tea.
I think I'll go tomorrow, but instead of cycling in I might take a taxi. Especially if it's still raining like it is today. Part of the reason is that I have a progesterone test scheduled with my GP to ensure ovulation occurred. I mean, I took a trigger shot, so there's no real reason to think ovulation didn't occur. But that's fine. It's a good excuse to go back to work.
I will say that being dreadfully ill was a good way not to obsess about whether I might be pregnant or not. It was also a good way to lose half a stone in two days from barely eating. I wouldn't say I'd recommend it in principle.
Of course now that I'm feeling better I'm convinced that I can't possibly be pregnant. I don't feel anything, or rather, I'm feeling the after effects of having been ill and I don't notice anything that might be a pregnancy feeling. Two people who knew that I was trying this cycle gently asked if it might be morning sickness. All I have to say is, that if morning sickness was anything like that, no one would get pregnant ever. Seriously. But no. My landlords are here and they both got sick one after the other and then me. The virus took us out one at a time but it was clearly that and not anything else.
Then of course I also worry that having gotten sick in this critical time it would ruin any chance of actually getting pregnant or somehow interfere. Not there there would have been anything I could have done otherwise. I did manage to drag myself to acupuncture on Saturday, which could have been a mistake. But I wanted to complete the treatment for this cycle. My acupuncturist was very positive about my pregnancy chances, but then what is she going to say? She also said that lots of women get colds and flues when pregnant which I do think I've read a bit about so maybe although it's miserable for me it doesn't have much to do with the pregnancy chances. At any rate, my feelings on acupuncture are still much the same in that I'm not convinced it really does anything, but I know it doesn't hurt me. So it's fine to add it to the mix. I guess the thing is, right now I'm sort of sure I'm not pregnant. But I do have an entire other week of waiting.
When I was sick I wasn't really eating so I wasn't taking my per-conception vitamins but I've managed to get back on that today. I'm sure that 3 days missed is not going to be the end of the world. Especially as I'd been good about taking them somewhat regularly. When I go back to work there should be a delivery of some pregnancy tests that I ordered online. The clinic only gave me one which they want me to do on the 11th even though my period is due on the 9th. From some of my internet reading it suggests you could start testing a bit earlier and I'm not sure I can wait all that long. So I bought some tests to give me the option. This will also let me 'save' the one the clinic gave me for the right day without the urge to use it sooner.
I think I've had some new readers stop by from the Donor Conception Network single women's mailer. If so, welcome and do feel free to start up a dialogue on the comments. I've really only just started engaging with forums although I've been thinking about this and reading up on it for some time. I've learned some interesting things from the SMC forums related to donor sperm which perhaps would have been useful before I made my choice, but then again, maybe not. I might reflect on that in a later post.
Meanwhile, I'm off to make more lemon/ginger/honey tea.
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
IUI 1 - Insemination
Here I am at the clinic waiting for my taxi to take me back to work. Is this for real?? Holy shit. I'm back to feeling terrified. But also skeptical, incredulous, in denial, etc. I'm feeling a lot, but I can't put my finger on any one particular feeling. Really it's a bit overwhelming and then all of the sudden at the same time it's so overwhelming I can't think about it at all.
I did the trigger last night at 6pm. Managed to not open one of the glass vials very well and it made a bit of a mess as when the top came off it crushed. But it was okay. I started to get a bit freaked out about the timing of the trigger versus the timing of the insemination today as they were scheduled for 20 hours apart. On the internet, which you should never read for medical advice, there are so many women freaking out about the timing of these two things. Basically the trigger starts the ovulation process, but it takes time. Both the egg and sperm have certain lifespans and ideally you want those things to match up. When I did egg freezing, the procedure was 35 hours after the trigger (I think) so this sort of freaked me out and I went for the earliest time they told me. However, I asked the doctor about this at the procedure and she was extremely reassuring about success rates of 20 hour versus 35 hour (which is to say, they're basically the same) and that they believe they don't want to miss the egg window so better to go early. Fine by me.
Anyway, I took a taxi to the clinic from work. They told me to be here at 1:45 and of course I was early. But they were running late. So I didn't go in until probably 2:15. No one else was in the recovery room and I had a cubicle to myself. Jeans and underwear came off and a hospital robe went on the front. I got to hold it together at the back which is always fun. The doctor and trainee doctor came in and explained the procedure. I think it took longer to explain then do!
We went into the procedure room and I got on the table. The lead doctor had an ultrasound on my tummy to watch the procedure and try to see the ovary. She couldn't see the follicle, which could mean it already started to release, or she just couldn't see it from that angle. The trainee doctor put in the speculum and cleaned the womb entrance with sterile water. A tiny catheter was put into the womb and then the embryologist passes over the prepared sperm. This was connected to the catheter, injected, and all was done! The catheter was so tiny I didn't have any cramping at all. Not like the Hycosi at all. In fact, I didn't even know the catheter was inserted.
Now the waiting begins. Since the egg may or may not be released yet, there is still some time (say, 24 hours) for it even to become fertilized. Then it takes some time to properly implant. I need a progesterone test in a week to verify l ovulated, although I can't imagine I didn't. Then they gave me a home pregnancy test to take on the 11th of March. This is actually a bit more than 2 weeks which sort of sucks. I'm sure the waiting is going to be emotionally taxing.
But really, as the doctor said, that's all there is to it. She made an effort to express to me that there is pretty much nothing I can do at this point that will change the outcome. She said, if I have a doubt about something, I shouldn't do it. But not because it will make a difference, but more because it will make a difference to how I feel and my stress levels. She said to keep taking vitamins and wait.
So that's pretty much all I can do....
In the meantime, assuming this cycle doesn't work, I asked about when I could order the drugs for the next cycle. They said to call on the first day of my period if it starts and hopefully I could get the drugs and come in for a scan on day 4. So.... obviously there's a much greater likelihood that this will be the case as opposed to the alternative.
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
IUI 1 - back in the swing
So I've had two days of injecting. Tonight I reduce the amount from 150 to 75. The first two injections have been fine. I'm a little perturbed to consider that my belly is fatter than when I did the egg freezing. I wish it wasn't so hard to lose weight! But that is neither here nor there.
Friday morning I'll have my next scan and see what's happening with my follicles. I did some reading today to try and better understand what's ideal in an IUI. Apparently there's a lot of interest in both the AMH and antral follicle count. I think I mentioned that the nurse counted 6-7 follicles on my ovary. This is apparently in the desirable range for someone my age. Having looked at some other blogs online, I read about women freaking out that their AMH was 3-5 and that was with two ovaries. Also these women had lower AMH numbers to me. So I'm feeling relatively okay about my general fertility level for my age.
I saw another statistic for IUI today which said my chances were not 5% but 6%! So that's obviously much better. I also read something else that said that pretty much every woman officially trying thinks she might be pregnant the first go out and usually isn't. And of course there's that statistic about 1 in 3 or 1 in 4 pregnancies ending in miscarriage. It's all ups and downs and obviously it's all just on my mind.
I've also been thinking about finances and budgets. So I'll update the budget in a moment. Mostly I'm thinking about the high cost of child care (not to mention things a child might need). The nursery close to my house costs £200/week for full nursery care. So let's just call that £1000/month. I may qualify for some minimal tax relief, but not much. So where will this money come from? I know child minders are less expensive. Still, it's daunting. If I somehow get pregnant on one of the first... let's say 3 tries., then I'll have enough money saved for a year and a half of child care. Of course in that time I'll also be trying not to use that money so I'm sure it can stretch to twice as far. Still, pretty scary stuff. I know people make it work, and I'm definitely going to rely on hand-me-downs and support from my family. Still, having a child is no small undertaking, and one I'm not attempting lightly.
I did manage to see the new acupuncturist on Saturday and have an appointment for this upcoming Saturday as well. I pretty much think that other than sticking needles in you, every acupuncturist you see does it differently. This is the third I've been to in my life and it was different from the first two which were different from each other. Overall I thought it was okay though. I've decided not to include the cost of acupuncture as that's obviously completely optional. Similarly the conception vitamins and things like that just aren't worth accounting for in the budget. I do tell myself when spending money on them though, that they are worth coming out of the overall budget. but obviously that's a choice. The current budget is:
I was talking to my mother on the phone about the baby plan and explaining what I thought I could afford (2 IUI, 3 fresh IVF, then go to the frozen eggs). And she was like, "So what do you think that's going to be, like £10,000?" and I just laughed at her. "No mom, try £30,000". It's really not something you undertake lightly at all unless you are made of money, which I am not. I can only hold out hope that I don't blow through all the money trying to get pregnant. Of course I could blow through all the money and not get pregnant at all. Pretty crazy when you think about it!
Friday morning I'll have my next scan and see what's happening with my follicles. I did some reading today to try and better understand what's ideal in an IUI. Apparently there's a lot of interest in both the AMH and antral follicle count. I think I mentioned that the nurse counted 6-7 follicles on my ovary. This is apparently in the desirable range for someone my age. Having looked at some other blogs online, I read about women freaking out that their AMH was 3-5 and that was with two ovaries. Also these women had lower AMH numbers to me. So I'm feeling relatively okay about my general fertility level for my age.
I saw another statistic for IUI today which said my chances were not 5% but 6%! So that's obviously much better. I also read something else that said that pretty much every woman officially trying thinks she might be pregnant the first go out and usually isn't. And of course there's that statistic about 1 in 3 or 1 in 4 pregnancies ending in miscarriage. It's all ups and downs and obviously it's all just on my mind.
I've also been thinking about finances and budgets. So I'll update the budget in a moment. Mostly I'm thinking about the high cost of child care (not to mention things a child might need). The nursery close to my house costs £200/week for full nursery care. So let's just call that £1000/month. I may qualify for some minimal tax relief, but not much. So where will this money come from? I know child minders are less expensive. Still, it's daunting. If I somehow get pregnant on one of the first... let's say 3 tries., then I'll have enough money saved for a year and a half of child care. Of course in that time I'll also be trying not to use that money so I'm sure it can stretch to twice as far. Still, pretty scary stuff. I know people make it work, and I'm definitely going to rely on hand-me-downs and support from my family. Still, having a child is no small undertaking, and one I'm not attempting lightly.
I did manage to see the new acupuncturist on Saturday and have an appointment for this upcoming Saturday as well. I pretty much think that other than sticking needles in you, every acupuncturist you see does it differently. This is the third I've been to in my life and it was different from the first two which were different from each other. Overall I thought it was okay though. I've decided not to include the cost of acupuncture as that's obviously completely optional. Similarly the conception vitamins and things like that just aren't worth accounting for in the budget. I do tell myself when spending money on them though, that they are worth coming out of the overall budget. but obviously that's a choice. The current budget is:
| Previous total | £4834 |
| IUI Inclusive Fee | £638 |
| New total | £5472 |
I was talking to my mother on the phone about the baby plan and explaining what I thought I could afford (2 IUI, 3 fresh IVF, then go to the frozen eggs). And she was like, "So what do you think that's going to be, like £10,000?" and I just laughed at her. "No mom, try £30,000". It's really not something you undertake lightly at all unless you are made of money, which I am not. I can only hold out hope that I don't blow through all the money trying to get pregnant. Of course I could blow through all the money and not get pregnant at all. Pretty crazy when you think about it!
Monday, February 15, 2016
IUI 1 - Go
This post may be somewhat premature as I'm still waiting to hear the results of my blood test from the clinic this morning to let me know for sure that I can go ahead with the IUI this cycle. Of course there is no reason to think that my blood test will be anything other than normal.
This morning I cycled over to the clinic for my 8:30am appointment. First I was taken to have my blood drawn. After trying in both arms and getting nothing, and after drinking two glasses of water, they decided to do my scan first and then see if the blood cold be drawn after. The scan was quick and easy. My uterine lining was thin as expected at the end of my period, and as desired. The nurse also counted 6-7 follicles on my one ovary (the other is gone remember!). So all looked in order. After the scan, the nurse gave me the schedule for my Gonal-F injections. Tonight and tomorrow I will do 150 and then it drops to 75/night. My next scan is scheduled for Friday morning at 8:15. I then have another scan scheduled for next Monday. On Friday they will determine if I should go ahead with the Pregnyl or wait until Monday. Since today is day 4 of my cycle, it's hard to say. My cycle is often a bit longer (~32 days) but then this month it was 28 days. That makes this Friday day 8 and Monday day 11. We'll see how it goes.
The nurse also gave me a little purple carry bag for the Gonal-F in case I need to inject while not at home. I didn't get that last time. It comes with a tube for needle disposal and everything. Very thoughtful.
After the scan nurse I went back to the blood nurse. I think she was a bit nervous after not getting anything from either arm so she called in a colleague to try for a third time. Meanwhile, I drank another glass of water in the hopes of plumping my veins. This nurse went for a deeper vein but funny enough I didn't feel it at all when it went in! And she managed to get the blood. So that was good. Third time was a charm. Although I hope that doesn't hold true for the cycle.
It's impossible not to start a cycle and be hopeful even though my chances of success are low low low. I'm taking my vitamins, I'm off alcohol and caffeine. I'm eating lots of vegetables and good foods. I'm doing the best I can! So of course I'm hoping for the chance that this might actually happen. Which is a bit better than being utterly terrified.
This morning I cycled over to the clinic for my 8:30am appointment. First I was taken to have my blood drawn. After trying in both arms and getting nothing, and after drinking two glasses of water, they decided to do my scan first and then see if the blood cold be drawn after. The scan was quick and easy. My uterine lining was thin as expected at the end of my period, and as desired. The nurse also counted 6-7 follicles on my one ovary (the other is gone remember!). So all looked in order. After the scan, the nurse gave me the schedule for my Gonal-F injections. Tonight and tomorrow I will do 150 and then it drops to 75/night. My next scan is scheduled for Friday morning at 8:15. I then have another scan scheduled for next Monday. On Friday they will determine if I should go ahead with the Pregnyl or wait until Monday. Since today is day 4 of my cycle, it's hard to say. My cycle is often a bit longer (~32 days) but then this month it was 28 days. That makes this Friday day 8 and Monday day 11. We'll see how it goes.
The nurse also gave me a little purple carry bag for the Gonal-F in case I need to inject while not at home. I didn't get that last time. It comes with a tube for needle disposal and everything. Very thoughtful.
After the scan nurse I went back to the blood nurse. I think she was a bit nervous after not getting anything from either arm so she called in a colleague to try for a third time. Meanwhile, I drank another glass of water in the hopes of plumping my veins. This nurse went for a deeper vein but funny enough I didn't feel it at all when it went in! And she managed to get the blood. So that was good. Third time was a charm. Although I hope that doesn't hold true for the cycle.
It's impossible not to start a cycle and be hopeful even though my chances of success are low low low. I'm taking my vitamins, I'm off alcohol and caffeine. I'm eating lots of vegetables and good foods. I'm doing the best I can! So of course I'm hoping for the chance that this might actually happen. Which is a bit better than being utterly terrified.
Thursday, February 11, 2016
IUI 1 - First scan scheduled
I am feeling a little bit less freaked out than I was yesterday. Though still not entirely comfortable. My period is not being very helpful this month. Yesterday I had the barest bit of color and today it seems much the same. No 'full flow' as it were. I called the clinic and they said that they want the first scan to be between day 1-4 and that it really needs to be once full flow has started. So they scheduled me for first thing Monday morning. If my period starts in full tomorrow, this would still be day 4. The nurse reassured me that there is a problem starting too early, not too late, so Monday would be fine. I am of course now concerned that Monday is late somehow. Funny how the brain works.
In other news, after my panic yesterday I did try to talk (text) a friend of mine who has been through years of fertility issues. I was not particularly happy with how she responded to me. Very terse and dismissive. Of course I've supported her through her years of ups and downs. With her experience, you'd think she might have been a bit more sympathetic. It just means I can't really rely on her for talking which sort of sucks. I also briefly mentioned my emotional state to the boyfriend. To his credit he handled it well. I'm trying to keep him in the loop and not put too much on him, as I said, he's barely processing his own emotions about it. But he did okay.
I'm also trying to set up some acupuncture appointments. I'm a bit late to the game here and I should have started earlier. I could go for one today but I'd have to leave work early. The next available appointment is next Saturday which is perhaps a bit late for it to be in any way effective this cycle, for as effective as acupuncture is. Unless I go somewhere else of course. I had some good experiences with it during egg freezing and I'm keen to do it again because I think it can't hurt and if it helps, great. So we'll see how that goes. At least I'm being reasonably good at taking my conception vitamins at the moment! I can't say I'm the best at 'all the things you should do when trying to conceive'. I'm trying.
In other news, after my panic yesterday I did try to talk (text) a friend of mine who has been through years of fertility issues. I was not particularly happy with how she responded to me. Very terse and dismissive. Of course I've supported her through her years of ups and downs. With her experience, you'd think she might have been a bit more sympathetic. It just means I can't really rely on her for talking which sort of sucks. I also briefly mentioned my emotional state to the boyfriend. To his credit he handled it well. I'm trying to keep him in the loop and not put too much on him, as I said, he's barely processing his own emotions about it. But he did okay.
I'm also trying to set up some acupuncture appointments. I'm a bit late to the game here and I should have started earlier. I could go for one today but I'd have to leave work early. The next available appointment is next Saturday which is perhaps a bit late for it to be in any way effective this cycle, for as effective as acupuncture is. Unless I go somewhere else of course. I had some good experiences with it during egg freezing and I'm keen to do it again because I think it can't hurt and if it helps, great. So we'll see how that goes. At least I'm being reasonably good at taking my conception vitamins at the moment! I can't say I'm the best at 'all the things you should do when trying to conceive'. I'm trying.
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