IVF 1 - Day 8 First scan of the cycle

I had my first scan today on day 8 of my cycle (day 7 by stimulation days).  I managed to get completely confused about when the appointment was based on how I put it in my diary which meant I showed up at 9:30 for a 9:00am appointment.  Luckily this was no problem at all and they saw me pretty much straight away.  It took the nurse two tries to get blood out of my arms.  I've decided that I think this blood issue is related to the 15 minute cycle ride I take to get to the clinic.  Typically if I've been cycling for over 10 minutes, my hands start to go numb and feel like I'm having circulation problems.  Because the first thing they do at the clinic is the blood draw, I think the problem with getting blood out is related to this.  I suggested next time they do it after the scan, we'll see if that helps.

So anyway, the scan was fine.  The nurse who did it had a little bit of trouble with their new equipment because it wouldn't get to where she could tag the follicles.  This meant I had the wand in me for a while until she managed to reboot the machine and finally get it it to work.  It also means though I got a pretty good look at the ovary.  So far so good.  The Gonal F is clearly working even though I'm not feeling anything yet.  I had around 7 follicles that were all 9.5-10.5mm, so that was great.  The ideal is for them all to be around the same size and they generally were.  It was clear at that magnification which ones were slightly bigger, but anyway, that was good, and there's still pretty much the rest of this week to go and for things to continue to grow and change.  In addition, my uterine lining also looked good.  The nurse was very positive and pleased, so that made me happy.

Of course I don't want to get my hopes up too high because in the last two of my egg freezing cycles, I had I think 9 and then 7 follicles and then only got 4 and then 3 mature eggs.  So even though seven sounds exciting, I'm trying to preparing for a low return.

My next scan is on Wednesday, and then I've already got one scheduled for Friday.  By Friday it should be clear if I'm coming in for a scan on Monday or if  I trigger or what.  I'm still thinking that based on previous egg freezing cycles that my egg retrieval will be next Wednesday, but we'll see.  I did ask this morning about this process as they require someone to take you home and stay with you (for 24 hours - or anyway that's what they say).  A friend of mine has offered to collect me in her car and stay with me for the afternoon, but she can't come until noon give or take.  However, I saw in the reading they gave me that they want the person who is going to take you home to be there from the start.  Well that's crazy- I can't just have random friends taking all day off work to sit around for a few hours while I have a procedure!!  It's hard enough to get people to be able to take time off to collect me at the right time!  This is for sure one of those times where I get very frustrated with the single mother element, and I also was frustrated during the egg freezing process.  Having been looking at doulas recently, I wonder if this isn't a service they should maybe consider starting to offer.  I'll deal with it, but it's annoying.  And now I have to wait to find out if I need someone there 'all day' or if someone can just come at the end.  I don't want to ask the boyfriend as I think it will upset him. Also, he doesn't have a car, so I'd have to book a taxi at which point I get annoyed about why I have to have anyone with me to begin with.  But I will work it out.

In other news I was at a dinner on Saturday night with some of my students who were graduating this weekend.  I had 1/4 a glass of wine.  I'm not going to kill myself over this.  I've been very good at taking all of my vitamins and morning pills, etc.  1/4 glass of wine is not going to make a difference!

Oh yeah, and I've started taking the Ogalutran which is Ganirelex (which I didn't know) in the morning.  I like that it comes in pre-filled syringes unlike the Cetrotide I had to mix and took during the egg freezing cycles.  However, it stings a bit after injecting it which I don't like as much.  For some reason the shots this cycle have all been more bothersome and often quite pokey.  Occasionally I get one in where I really can't feel it, but more often than not they feel pretty sharp.  Annoying!

Anyway, next update  Wednesday I imagine.

IVF 1 - Day 3

So managed to do my first injection last night but forgot I had a dinner to go to and so didn't do it until 10pm which was a bit later than my intended 8pm.  Today I have my drugs with me as I'll have to inject after the movie which will be around 8:30/9:00.  At least I'm moving it in the right direction and should be then back on an 8pm routine.

The shot hurt a bit last night- I don't know why.  Just didn't get the angle quite right so it was very pokey going in and I even moved it to see if it would be less pokey, but no. Anyway, I got it done and that was that.

I forgot that this morning I had an appointment with the counselor up at my clinic so I got in to work a bit late, turned on my computer, looked at my diary and was like, 'Oh shit!' so I had to put all my stuff back on and cycle to the clinic.  Oops.  While I was there I had a chat with the nursing team about when my first scan is scheduled for.  They reassured me that Day 8 (which is their Day 7 since they count stim days, not from period days) is completely regular and fine.  They did offer to give me a scan on Friday if I wanted one, but as I would have only been stimming for three days at that point, they didn't think there would be any adjustments.  So fine.  It really won't make any difference for me to see it on Friday versus Monday so I will just wait.  But I felt better for asking.

The talk with the counselor was good.  She was very nice.  This was a hoop jumping requirement by my clinic due to my use of donor sperm.  Right now I feel okay with everything, so I really just chatted to her and she asked some questions and all that was fine.  We did spend some time talking about the boyfriend because that is complicated.  I don't know that it helped to talk to her about it, but perhaps just again reassured me that I've got this sorted in my  own mind and am prepared for what may happen either way (he sticks around or he doesn't stick around if I get pregnant).  He and I still don't talk about the baby plan although I continue to update him on each step as I'm doing it.  I know he's not properly dealt with it in his own mind yet, but it's really just not my problem.  It would be my problem if I was relying on him, but I'm not.  I enjoy his company for what it is and if I lose it, I'll be sad.  But the baby plan is my primary focus and he's not actively part of that.  It's also why I was pleased to hear from the pregnant ladies at the DCN conference about doulas.  They all advocated for having one with you in the delivery room and I've since looked into it and looks like a great idea.  So I'm not even worried about who is going to be there with me because I will pay someone to be there with me.

I worked out with the counselor that it's not that I'm feeling optimistic about all this, it's just that I'm excited to be actually doing it.  I'm not unrealistic about the odds, but it's exciting to be doing something- moving forward, etc.  Although I may not feel that way a week from now, I feel that way today.

IVF 1 - Day 2

First shot tonight.  Happy to get this show on the road.

I called the clinic yesterday to tell them my period had arrived and schedule my first scan.  They said the doctor had put me down for an 'early' scan so they scheduled me to come in on Monday which will be day 8.  This is not early.  I was sort of taken back by this, as when I did egg freezing, or even when I had the IUI I think they scanned within the first 5 days. Day 8 seems a bit late.  I mean, some women even trigger on day 8!  Although I for sure will not.  I feel that day 8 is a bit late to make any adjustments to the medications.  I would have thought I should go in on day 5 which would be Friday. At the moment I'm undecided about whether or not I should call to ask for this or as for the reasoning for putting it off until day 8 or just to suck it up.  In general I'm not a fan of the suck it up approach and I prefer more information to less.  However, I also vaguely assume my clinic knows what they are doing.  Although maybe I shouldn't.  Seeing how many follicles there are in the scan, and how they are growing is supposed to help them decide how much drugs I should be taking.  By day 8, I'll be more than half way through stimulation, and I don't know that there's much more opportunity for adjustments.

The women on the SMC forum all felt I should push for an earlier scan or at least get in touch with the clinic.  I think I'll at least give them a call.  The women on the forum also all unanimously supported ICSI for the fresh eggs and assisted hatching for all embryos.  So that was interesting as well.  I did a bit more google research on ICSI and think it's probably a good idea to just go ahead with that. Assisted hatching also seems like a no brainer although there will be an additional cost per embryo for that.  Still, anything that helps.  And also, what's £125 when you're spending £6k+?

So it's Gonal-F only for the next few days before I add in the Ogalutran in the mornings.  All the drugs are currently taking up the cheese drawer in my fridge.  Huh.  Actually now that I'm thinking about it, I'm going to the movies tomorrow when I need to inject so I'll have to take the drugs with me.  At least they gave me a useful drug carry pouch with a portable sharps container for being away from home.  I'm going to go for an 8pm/8am schedule, or as close to that as possible for my injections.

So, still happy to be starting.  Still feeling positive.  This may obviously be significantly tempered whenever I actually get my first scan and see how many follicles are happening.  But also looking forward to finding out what will come out of the frozen eggs.

IVF 1 - Day 1

My period is here!  My period is here!  Who knew it could be so exciting?  I'm really a bit shocked that it's come so late, but anywhere, here it is.  My last period was particularly early, so I guess it makes sense. On the plus side, this would make a day 17 collection on Wednesday the 25th which would be a good timing, unless they decide for a day 15 collection, but I'll be surprised if this is the case. At any rate, this means I start stims tomorrow night, 300 Gonal F.  I'm excited and also a bit nervous to see how this cycle ends up.  How many fresh and then mature eggs will I get?  How will the frozen eggs defrost?  Will any fertilize?

The only decision I need to make now is whether or not to do ICSI and assisted hatching with all of the eggs or some of the eggs, or what.  I put it out to the ladies on the forum and it was a unanimous opinion that I should go for both.  I have to have ICSI with any of the defrosted frozen eggs, but it's optional for the fresh.  Given my age, ICSI is apparently better.  Assisted hatching is again recommended for things that are being defrosted and for 'older' eggs.  I fit into both categories, so I think I'll just go for both.  I did watch a video of ICSI though and it looked a bit violent.  Apparently there is a risk of damage to the egg, but it doesn't seem conclusive how that weights out against the risk of not fertilizing at all.

One of my best friends is having a frozen embryo transfer this month on almost the same timing as myself which would be a bit crazy for us to be pregnant at the same time.  Of course she's trying for her third child after something like 20+ cycles of various fertility treatments (which gave her the first two), so a little bit different.  But it would be sort of fun for me and my friend to be identically pregnant.

Anyway, fingers crossed for this cycle.  I don't know why I'm allowing myself to feel optimistic given the odds, but I just can't help it.

Obsessing over timing

No period today.  I did pee on a stick this morning to make absolutely sure that I wasn't actually pregnant somehow and it got missed from the last cycle.  My gut certainly feels like my period is coming.  However, so far, no period.  In order to avoid the conflict I have with the 26/27 I'm not moderately obsessed with trying to work out the likelihood of it being a problem by fixating on dates. In order to stop obsessing I'm going to dump it all here so I can just look at it to confirm what I'm counting.  Indulge me.

If my period arrives tomorrow (May 7) and that was Day 1, then (Option A) Day 17 would be Monday the 23rd and the likely collection day.  If I get a poor collection and they want to do a 3-day transfer, that would be on Thursday the 26th (BAD).  If I have a good collection and they do a 5-day transfer, that would be on Saturday the 28th (GOOD). If collection was Friday the 20th (day 14, Option B) which is unlikely with my history, a 3-day transfer would be on Monday the 23 (GOOD) and a 5-day transfer would be on Wednesday the 25th (GOOD).

If my period arrives Sunday (May 8) then collection would likely be Monday the 23rd (day 16) and we again have Option A.  Or, it could be Wednesday the 25th (day 18, Option C) which would mean a day 3 transfer would be on Saturday the 28th (GOOD) and a 5 day transfer would be on Monday the 30th (GOOD).

If my period arrives Monday (May 9) then collection could be Monday the 23rd (day 15) and we're on Option A again, or collection is more likely to be on Wednesday the 25th (day 17) which would be Option C.

So basically, a 25% chance that the timing will suck.

I have managed to line up a last minute fill in for me if this is the case, but I hope it's not.  However, looking at it like this gives me some comfort because it's only in the case of a less desired outcome (no good embryos collected on Monday the 23rd) that it's the BAD scenario and I'm obviously hoping for good embryos that make it to blastocyst in which case all of the options are good.  Okay. Maybe I can stop obsessing about this now!!

Drug Delivery

The box itself didn't look like much....

However, inside the box was a shitload of drugs!!

We've got 4 x 900 Gonal F pens, 7 Orgalutran pre-loaded syringes, an Ovitrelle pen, 3 boxes of Cyclogest pessaries, an amoxicillin pill, and of course the sharps box.  My cheese drawer is looking very full at the moment....

No period yet.  If it comes tomorrow that's risky because I think my clinic only does egg collections on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  That would mean they may try to collect on day 15 (Friday) which would be earlier than all of my egg freezing cycles, but otherwise would have to wait until day 18 (Monday) which could be too late.  If my period comes the day after tomorrow, or the day after that, then they might be going for the Monday collection (day 17 or 16 depending).  I'm pretty sure the clinic does embryo transfers on Saturdays, so if I had a Monday collection, I could have the transfer on the Saturday, avoiding the two days (Thursday/Friday) which will be a horrible work conflict.  If I have the collection on a Friday, the transfer would be on the Wednesday which would not be ideal because I still have some conflicts, but would also be okay, or at least, way better than the Thursday/Friday conflict.  So actually... I might end up alright with the work conflict either way- the only difference would be if they collect on the Monday and if I don't have more than 2 embryos that don't look so great, they could recommend a day 3 transfer which would be on the Thursday.  Complicated!!  I don't care though.  This month is a go, and I'm sort of excited about it.  Even though there's no guarantees in all this, I prefer to be taking action than waiting, that's for sure.

Change of Plans Again, AH!

Good grief!! I just got called by the clinic to tell me that in June they do a major clean of the lab and facilities and shut down. this means I can't cycle in June.  However, my frozen eggs are now in Cambridge, my drugs are being delivered today, and, most importantly, my period has yet to arrive.  This means I could start this month, like in the next couple of days.  Holy crap!  Just when I was settling in to having a month off, it's all systems go!

This is great, except for one small thing that I have a serious work conflict on the 26/27 of this month.  If I go by my egg collection cycles, my eggs were retrieved on day 16 or 17.  If you add 5 or 6 days for blastocyst transfer, this is squarely around the time of the work conflict, but could just miss it.  That's going to be the only stressful thing.  I suppose the best thing would be for my period to hold off for another couple or few days to put me well past it?  Anyway, it's going to be tricky, but I'm definitely not waiting until July.

I'm actually really excited about starting straight away although I was also fine with waiting a month.  No more alcohol or caffeine for me though!  I suppose it's not great that I've been indulging this month, although not so much, so that's not so terrible.

I'm actually sort of just really excited to be trying this month.  I'm going to try not to stress about the scheduling conflict until my period arrives.  Speaking of which, maybe I need to go to the bathroom.